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The media pundit's pundit. Written by NYC insider Jeff Jarvis, BuzzMachine covers news, media, journalism, and politics.

Gag

18 comments on Gag

Gag
: I found Zell Miller’s endorsement of George Bush to be about as appealing as a finger down the throat:

I am moved by the reverence and tenderness he shows the first lady and the unabashed love he has for his parents and his daughters.

I admire this man of faith who has lived that line in that old hymn, “Amazing Grace,” “Was blind, but now I see.” I like the fact that he’s the same on Saturday night as he is on Sunday morning. And I like a man who shows respect for others by starting meetings on time.

Oh, ferchrissake. Let’s make him Pope, too. Or at least bishop of New Hampshire.

Unlike Miller, Roger L. Simon, and other once-Democrats, I’m not ready to vote for George Bush.

I’m not a Democrat-Republican.

Or a Republican-Democrat.

I may be a liberal hawk or a hawkish liberal.

But I’d prefer to think of myself merely as open-minded.

I find lately that I can sit with conservatives and not feel as if I’m about to be turned into the FBI; that’s relatively new for me (it helps when I’m wearing the flag on my lapel). I also find that I can sit with reasonable liberals and find ground for agreement (Saddam was a bad guy, very, very bad). I can disagree with the Bush-backers over the Supreme Court and the tax cut and lots more. I can disagree with the Bush-wackers over support for human rights in Iraq and such. Wishy-washy? Ha. Fence-sitter? Hardly. The war on terrorism and weblogs, among other things, have merely made me selective.

And I’m still quite selective about my presidential candidates. I’m still selecting. Just because I’m willing to support the president in this war on terrorism, that doesn’t mean that I’m ready to turn into a damned jelly-filled donut like Zell Miller. You have to admit: His valentine to Bush would make a Hallmark writer gag.

18 responses to “Gag”

  1. O'McSomething Avatar
    O’McSomething

    Here’s the photo to go with the Hallmark caption.
    Opps! Divine intervention! Ya gotta laugh (tho’ Jesus may be weeping)!

  2. Mike G Avatar
    Mike G

    God, I’m glad someone said it. What a bunch of dumbass country song cliches, “same man he is on Saturday night that he is on Sunday morning”– you mean before he turned 40 he was a drunk on Sunday morning, too? It makes Howard Dean’s comment about the Confederate flag voter seem as insightful as Tocqueville. Zell, you smell.
    I really wish we had a bisexual president who lounged all day in his purple velvet smoking jacket and did a lot of coke, but he was so fantastic at the actual job that nobody worried about the fact that he was not a good role model or family man.

  3. Jeremy Avatar
    Jeremy

    What I find scary, is that I’m actually starting to respect Gephardt.
    He is my congressman. I always thought he was a two-faced weasel. Pretty much always pandering to what he thought people wanted to hear.
    I am absolutely shocked, and actually impressed, that he has has taken a fairly hard stance on Iraq. One that is actually very unpopular in his party. He’s developed a spine! Unbelieveable.
    Of course, I still dislike his views on things like free-trade (though frankly, Bush seems to be against free trade as well, at least in practice). But he’s earned my respect.

  4. sickles Avatar
    sickles

    Mr. Jarvis:
    Perhaps you should take a trip to rural Georgia and try and understand why he feels the way he does instead of calling him a jelly-donut.
    Now that would be open minded.

  5. Roger L. Simon Avatar
    Roger L. Simon

    LEt me make myself clear (I already did, but I’ll repeat it here). My vote (so far) is determined not by Love of Bush (I’m not sending Valentines) but hard reality. The War on Terror is the real deal–for now and a long time to come. It is far and away the most important issue facing us. Until the Democrats see that clearly and enunciate it, I can’t vote for the for President.

  6. ken Avatar
    ken

    No way is a Democrat getting my vote (unless Bush starts dressing like Jesus), but way back when this all started, I pegged Gephardt as the only guy who sounded like someone capable of holding the office… on the smart side and not as hysterical as the others. Granted, he’s made an ass of himself trying to outdo the others in the debates, but I’d put my money on him if I were a Democrat who wanted a candidate who could actually come close to beating Dubya.

  7. R. C. Dean Avatar
    R. C. Dean

    Re Gephardt: I could never vote for someone whose core political activity seems to be fellating the unions.

  8. Atlanta Lawyer Avatar
    Atlanta Lawyer

    One time there was a farmer was complaining to a friend about the trouble he was having in getting his stubborn mule to move. After listening to the farmer’s complaint, the friend said he knew just what to do.
    “Get a two-by-four and whack the mule across the head with all your might,” advised the friend. The farmer was taken aback. “But how will that get him to move?” asked the farmer. “Well, you see,” the friend said, “first you’ve got to get his attention!”
    Zell Miller doesn’t want to be a Republican, he wants to reclaim the Democratic Party. His endorsement of Bush and his new book is his version of whacking the Democratic Party over the head with a two-by-four.

  9. firq krumpl Avatar
    firq krumpl

    yours is a perfect illustration of how cynicism distorts perception. it’s a tragic affliction. get well soon.

  10. JB Avatar
    JB

    Jeff,
    Sounds like you really want to be liked. Buck up! Being a contrarian a-hole does have its advantages.

  11. O'McSomething Avatar
    O’McSomething

    None of the Dems who stand a chance of actually winning the nonination advocates pulling out of Iraq at this point. It is safe to say that a year from now (after what’s been going on the past few weeks, I say April-Shmaapril), come election time, the US will still have a major military presence in Iraq (unless it goes so badly that Bush decides to cut-and-run to try and save his political ass). I think the big question is can Bush rally any support from the rest of the world. It is quite obvious that we cannot and should not do it alone (By the way, where is Osama? Sorry , off on a tangent….). Even Spain (you know one of the BIG THREE) is pulling people out of their embassy in Iraq. Now we learn that Turkey will only send peacekeepers at the invitation of the Iraqi Governing Council not the US (F.U. to Powell and Bush). I think the only real hope for this situation is a change in administration. In a year’s time our beleaguered military, our citizens and the rest of the world will be more than ready for a regime change. Kinda like Mario Rivera and the damn Yankees. I don’t think we can win this without a good ‘closer’.

  12. DBIAT Avatar
    DBIAT

    First thing’s first: Jeff, thanks for the anti-Southern bigotry. We need more folks like you belittling our manners, ways of speech and idioms just to make folks like you feel sooooooo much superior. Such dripping cynicism is somewhat tacky.
    Second, in re & O’Mcsomething: Turkey. Folks, I hate to tell you this but the only people in Turkey that wanted to send troops was the military. The government realised they screwed up something fierce in the run-up to the war and they bent all the arms they could getting parliament to pass the measure allowing Turkish troops to be sent to Iraq–not out of love, but because they realised rather quickly that you don’t slap your best friend in the face. Now, the deal was ALWAYS conditioned upon certain contingencies being satisfied: a) finding a place to put them where they wouldn’t get the opportunity to stomp on the Kurds some more, b) finding a place where they wouldn’t tick off the Shi’ite ‘heretics’ (from the Turks’ perspective) too much (the original thought was to put them in Sadr City (heavily Shi’ite)…until it was found out that they Shi’ites didn’t want them), c) finding a place where they wouldn’t attempt to change the demographic balance between the Turkomans–their ethnic kin–who live intermingled with the Kurds (you know, like sneaking a few thousand Turks over the border, all claiming they were Turkomans fleeing Saddam’s tyranny–which they have done in times past) d) finding a place where they wouldn’t attempt to do something silly like, oh, take matters into their own hands and throw tantrums when they stop on our SOF guys and our SOF guys STOMP BACK.
    Get the picture?
    Also, the deal was conditioned upon getting the IIA approval. You can’t have it both ways, folks. Have we given the IIA too little power or too much? Well, this is a decision best left up to them and you know what? They’re hand-tied. Fine. Lots of administrations are like that.
    One more point: we never–repeat: NEVER–expected the Turks to actually go through with the deployment.
    It’s no loss when you never expected in the first place.

  13. Jeff Jarvis Avatar
    Jeff Jarvis

    What the heck is anti-Southern about this? A twit is a twit and pap is pap no matter what the accent. This twit speaks pap.

  14. O' Avatar
    O’

    Ahhemm!—-
    I think the big question is can Bush rally any support from the rest of the world.
    Get the picture, DBIAT? And yes, thanks for the update, but I’ve been following this (anti-Dixie) thang (/anti-Dixie)(WTF?!?) all the way along. I don’t rely on the blogs for all my news.

  15. dude Avatar
    dude

    Am I too cynical here? Zell is retiring so he’d like to make a bunch of money. So he says good things about Bush and bad things about democrats and then goes on the Hannity/Fox News/etc circuit to push the book. That crowd gobbles it up because he’s saying what they want to hear. The book sells big. In other words, the whole bit is a marketing scheme.

  16. Vidiot Avatar
    Vidiot

    Yeah, if a senator is making a public announcement over who he supports, I’d like to see actual, y’know, policy reasons why he does. I always thought Zell was smarter than this (and I say this as a Southerner and former GA resident) — not because of who he’s supporting, but because of the mushy, totally inadequate justification for his statement of support.
    When I first read the story about Miller’s announcement, my first thought was something along the lines of “I haven’t seen that much fellatio given to the occupant of the White House since…”

  17. O' Avatar
    O’

    Am I too cynical here?
    Nah

  18. robert Avatar
    robert

    Does the fact that Zell sounds like Perot mean that his children are less important to him than any other human being? Do you think Zell might have changed diapers at one time? We have to look past each other’s ideosyncrasies in order to move forward. So silence is sometimes necessary.
    We all need to be considered human beings.