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Ding-dong, the witch is dead

36 comments on Ding-dong, the witch is dead

Ding-dong, the witch is dead

: No, I don’t mean Arafat. There were reports that he’d died just now on Israeli TV but the French hospital denies it.

No, I mean that Fox reports that John Ashcroft is going to resign. Oh, please!

CNN also says Colin Powell is going to quit.

Both those political reports from Command-Post.

: Somebody in the comments complains that I can’t complain about Ashcroft because that violates my pledge. Ridiculous. I reply:

That doesn’t mean I can’t (a) retain a sense of humor and (b) retain an opinion. I have consistently disliked the choice of Ashcroft and his job in office and you know what I’m doing here: I’m celebrating the wisdom of George Bush for apparently getting rid of him! I’ll take that as a hand of peace offered from Bush. Good for you, George!

Oh, or perhaps I misunderstand: Were you defending Arafat?

: Another comment — as well as talk on FoxNews right now — raises a nomination I made back in 2001: Rudy Guiliani for AG! That’s who I wanted from the first. But as someone said in radio yesterday, if Guliani plans to run for President or another office, why should he take a cabinet post where something can get him into hot political and media water. Still, I hope he gets the job. That or head of Homeland Security.

36 responses to “Ding-dong, the witch is dead”

  1. Simon Avatar
    Simon

    Good heavens – who will they appoint to replace him? One can only fear…

  2. Frank Martin Avatar
    Frank Martin

    Is removing a lightning rod considered ‘reaching out’?
    The second rumor is that guliani is going to take his place. The third is Tom Ridge is also leaving.
    I wonder the the ashcroft thing is to put him position to run in 2006 Senate races. Dems have a bunch of weak seats in 2006.

  3. aaron Avatar
    aaron

    Ding dong the witch is dead?
    I thought you had recently pledged to “Uphold standards of civilized discourse in blogs…”

  4. Jeff Jarvis Avatar
    Jeff Jarvis

    aaron: that doesn’t mean I can’t (a) retain a sense of humor and (b) retain an opinion. I have consistently disliked the choice of Ashcroft and his job in office and you know what I’m doing here: I’m celebrating the wisdom of George Bush for apparently getting rid of him! I’ll take that as a hand of peace offered from Bush. Good for you, George!
    Oh, or perhaps I misunderstand: Were you defending Arafat?
    ajf: Don’t use the f word here. You get bleeped. I don’t want the site blocked and so I kill comments that use it.

  5. Michael Avatar
    Michael

    Aaron – you beat me to it. Ditto on your comment.

  6. Privacy Watch Avatar
    Privacy Watch

    I

  7. carsonfire Avatar
    carsonfire

    Mwa ha ha! Chief Justice Ashcroft!

  8. Penschool Avatar
    Penschool

    Ashcroft for Senate in 2006? He was the incumbant in 2000 and lost to the dead governor. Wonder how his chances have actually improved since then….

  9. John Avatar
    John

    Jeff: I don’t think this violated your pledge, although it might be helpful if you made it clearer that you were joking. I can understand (and hopefully you can too) why someone took “Ding dong the witch is dead” as not being civil discourse. No one should mind if you want to be happy he’s leaving, though.

  10. Penschool Avatar
    Penschool

    “Retain a sense of humor”? Well, as long as you’re the arbiter of what is civil discourse vs. (bad) humor, then you should be just fine.

  11. MWB Avatar
    MWB

    Just can’t stay on the ol’ Pledge wagon, can you Jeff?

  12. Jeff Jarvis Avatar
    Jeff Jarvis

    mwb: read above.what do you expect me to say: oh, what a pity john ashcroft is leaving? that may be your opinion but it sure as hell isn’t mine.

  13. al Avatar
    al

    Jeff
    I’m disappointed in you. I often disagree with your politics but thought you would remain tasteful.
    I was wrong.
    You already forgot your pledge…and you wonder why your side keeps losing.

  14. al Avatar
    al

    Jeff
    I’m disappointed in you. I often disagree with your politics but thought you would remain tasteful.
    I was wrong.
    You already forgot your pledge…and you wonder why your side keeps losing.

  15. Michael Avatar
    Michael

    But, jeff, childish giddyness like “ding dong the witch is dead” simply isn’t “rational discourse.” name-calling just doesn’t fit.

  16. aaron Avatar
    aaron

    I don’t care if you like or dislike Ashcroft. That wasn’t my point. But “ding dong the witch is dead?” That doesn’t seem like civil discourse to me. Of course, if you can just claim to be joking, the pledge doesn’t have much meaning does it? I can’t speak for mwb, but no, I don’t expect you to say “what a pity he’s leaving.” How ’bout “I’m glad Ashcroft is leaving, as I don’t agree with his policies.” Surely you can see the difference between that and “ding dong the witch is dead.”

  17. Jeff Jarvis Avatar
    Jeff Jarvis

    aaron: because that’s dull. i talk the way i talk. it’s called a blog.

  18. aaron Avatar
    aaron

    Furthermore, I’m not sure where in my original comment I say you can’t complain about Ashcroft.

  19. refugee Avatar
    refugee

    I voted for Bush, not at all reluctantly, and I’m eager to see Ashcroft go.
    I also feel that Powell has failed miserably at rallying State behind their Chief Executive.
    But the one I really want gone is that gormless leech Tom Mineta, Sec. Transportation, who believes in profiling grannies and children who are U.S. Citizens instead of Middle Eastern aliens with manky paperwork.
    Oh, and while heads are rolling, let’s whack the DEA and the Firearm section of BATFE, the two agencies most responsible for diluting the Bill of Rights to homeopathic levels.

  20. Jeff Jarvis Avatar
    Jeff Jarvis

    Push me, and believe me, I can demonstrate what uncivil discourse about John Ashcroft would look like so you can see the difference.
    I am not going to write like a teletype. Don’t like the way I write? Don’t read it. I’m human. I talk like a human. That’s what blogs are about.
    Civil does not mean dull. Civil does not mean humorless. Civil does not mean flat and monotone. Civil does not mean opinionless.
    “Ding dong the witch is dead” is hardly a cutting, mean, nasty line. The better indictment would be that it’s actually rather twinkie and soft and silly. But uncivil? Come on, folks, where do you live? In Disneyland?
    You’re all trying a rhetorical trick to say, “Gotcha, Jarvis, you’re being uncivil.” Well, I’m not. And I’m not going to engage in this game further.

  21. MWB Avatar
    MWB

    OK, how about something like this:
    “Ashcroft resigning?
    Fox reports that John Ashcroft is going to resign. If you’ve read me at all, you’ll understand that I think this is great news. I just hope, if true, Bush replaces him with someone more palatable to a broader swath of the public.
    CNN also says Colin Powell is going to quit. (Hat tip on both to Command-Post).”
    I know that’s perhaps a bit dull, but I think it’s more in keeping with your pledge than equating Ashcroft to a “wicked witch” (which strikes me as juvenile) or Arafat (which you don’t have to be an Ashcroft fan to think is offensive). BTW, I have no strong opinion about Ashcroft myself.

  22. aaron Avatar
    aaron

    Fine Jeff. I’m not trying to provoke you. I was just pointing out what I thought to be an example of uncivil discourse shortly after you made the pledge. If you don’t consider it uncivil, well, you’re right, it is your blog and you may write however you want.
    p.s. “Ding ding the witch is dead” is not talking like a human. It’s talking like a munchkin.

  23. aaron Avatar
    aaron

    Fine Jeff. I’m not trying to provoke you. I was just pointing out what I thought to be an example of uncivil discourse shortly after you made the pledge. If you don’t consider it uncivil, well, you’re right, it is your blog and you may write however you want.
    p.s. “Ding ding the witch is dead” is not talking like a human. It’s talking like a munchkin.

  24. MWB Avatar
    MWB

    Jeff: “Push me, and… I can demonstrate…”
    I thought pushing you (and all media) to be better was part of that pledge you’re so proud of. So we’re doing it and this is your response?

  25. aaron Avatar
    aaron

    Um, make that “ding dong.” And I swear I only hit post once.

  26. BigFire Avatar
    BigFire

    Well, Bush can always nominate Viet D. Dinh as the next AG.

  27. carsonfire Avatar
    carsonfire

    JJ, I don’t think the problem is so much your saying “ding dong the witch is dead” so much as maybe aaron and others probably believe that if one of them said “ding dong the witch is dead” about Kerry, your position on the phrase being civil might be different.
    Or, for instance, if someone posted “failed first lady Teresa Heinz Kerry: ding dong, the gin-soaked raisin witch is dead”.
    Civility is in the eye of the beholder.

  28. Walsingham Avatar
    Walsingham

    Wow!
    Ashcroft deposed!
    Does this mean they will close the gulags?
    Here’s hoping!

  29. Jeff Jarvis Avatar
    Jeff Jarvis

    carsonfire: oh, i said much,much cattier things about teresa while watching the office tv with colleagues yesterday. (if only they’d had more reaction shots we could have had some fun captioning.)
    all of this is like saying that just because jon stewart tells the crossfire twins that they’re not helping, he should turn into mcneil/lehrer.

  30. al Avatar
    al

    How bout….
    Ding dong the with is dead
    Kerry will drone on to us no more

  31. rivlax Avatar
    rivlax

    The lefty knee-jerk on Ashcroft is just tiresome. Only on the American Left could a man who served his state well in several political offices, and who, out of sheer good manners, quit campaigning after his opponent died and then lost to the man’s ungrateful and spiteful widow, be demonized so. Captain Kangaroo or Mister Rogers would be similarly vilified if the Left chose. You people are so predictable and sad. Who’s next?

  32. MB Avatar
    MB

    I’ll take a thousand Ashcroft’s to one Janet Reno anyday (bear in mind that I’m from Missouri and never voted for Ashcroft as either governor or senator).

  33. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    Looks like you might be disappointed with regard to Guiliani. See this from KWQC TV.
    Jeff, I don’t think your humorous headline violated your pledge. There was nothing anti-American about it.
    I’m worried that if Guiliani runs in 2008, we won’t have a Dem in the White House for years. Not that the party matters, but the spirit does. But I think Rudy G. would be much more of a uniter than Bush Term 1.

  34. Pixy Misa Avatar
    Pixy Misa

    I suspect that there’s something about the Attorney-General’s office that turns every occupant into an asshole. Remember Janet Reno?
    Hmm. Maybe his actual office was built over the Hellmouth? That would explain a thing or two.

  35. paco wove Avatar
    paco wove

    Ignore all these humorless prigs. It was funny.
    Although the thought of where he might end up next is kind of scary…

  36. Jim S Avatar
    Jim S

    I voted for the dead guy. Some of us who did so have felt a tad guilty at where that wound up going, thinking he wouldn’t have been as bad for the country in the Senate as he has been as AG. I’m not sure.