Simultaneous translation

Simultaneous translation
: Can any sane person tell me what the f this means?

Howard Dean’s bark was missing its bite. And his socks were missing their warp. Not to mention their woof.

If copy like that ever passed my desk, I would (a) demand a rewrite, (b) fire the person, (c) not run it. But then, I don’t work here.

Y’know, I’ve never hopped on the bandwagon trying to run over this writer but I’m running to catch up and jump on now.

  • anne.elk

    Jeff, though she richly deserves it, you don’t have to hop on the bandwagon. Just say no Jeff. Remember, most people don’t really consider hopping on bandwagons to be a sign of independent thought.

  • Warp and Woof are old textile industry terms for the threads running the long way and the across way in woven fabric, which seems a stretch when talking about socks, but, then, the whole little statement made NO sense at all.

  • Obviously, Jeff, you’re just not cool enough to understand the lingo.

  • br

    Without knowing beforehand, I thought that sounded like some tripe that Maureen Dowd would serve up. Lo and behold, it is.
    Her column is akin to the 100 cable channels that I never watch, yet end up paying for in order to get the 4 or 5 that I do.

  • “..Her column is akin to the 100 cable channels that I never watch, yet end up paying for in order to get the 4 or 5 that I do…”
    Block that metaphor!
    The words of her writing are like the grains of sand upon all the beaches of all the seas of the world. Many in number, but drifting, blown hither and over there, indistinguishable from the empty noises echoing from all the seashells ever picked up by all the Sallies in all the democracies ever to arise from the Judeo-Christian Zeitgeist anywhere. Or so it seemed…

  • John

    The Pulitzer for Ms. Dowd in 1999 was apparently like the de facto “get out of jail for life” card that Rodney King was dealt after his videotaped beating by L.A. police. No matter what crimes against logic or the English language Maureen violates, her past honor seems to make her immune from reproach on West 43rd Street.

  • Parabellum

    The funny thing is that socks have neither warp or woof. They’re knitted, not woven.
    Not only is the ‘analogy’ bizarre, it’s incorrect.

  • Ebb Tide

    I thought it was funny that the ad at the top of the page read: “one doctor, thousands of second opinions” it was for a health care group… but it seemed to fit the article, too!
    Isn’t Dowd supposed to be funny and silly, like Entertainment tonight, I mean, she isn’t Thomas Freidman or anything, but she isn’t trying to be…. isn’t she doing it to get chuckles?

  • texascarl

    Life’s too short to drink cheap wine or read Maureen Dowd.

  • bj

    Screw the bandwagon, Jeff.
    Just be honest. Dowd sucks.