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I’m a f***ing hypocrite

25 comments on I’m a f***ing hypocrite

I’m a f***ing hypocrite
: Michael Powell wants to ban the f word from the airwaves. Now you probably thought it was already banned, but the FCC staff ruled that when Bono uttered it at last year’s Golden Globes, it wasn’t indecent, so Powell wants to make sure that doesn’t happen again. Mind you, if Howard Stern ever said it, they’d slap him with gazillions in fines without a moment’s deliberation. Hypocrites? Yes.

But so am I. I use the f word often. But I hit the tape-delay button on myself when I’m around my kids, of course — because if I didn’t, you’d call DYFS on me. And because kids can come here, that’s why I don’t use the f word here and kill comments that use it and other allied bad words.

But I wish it weren’t a bad word. I wish there weren’t any bad words.

It’s offensive that we get offended by a mere word. What we should be offended by are offensive ideas or insults or attacks. But a mere word? We can’t handle a simple word?

This lexicographic puritanism is the predecessor of political correctness: Somebody holds the list of the things you can’t say — and you can’t say anything about it. This empowers the holder of the list. It subjugates those who would use the word but now can’t. And it insults everybody else who would hear the word, for the holder of the list thinks that he’s protecting them and that that they can’t protect themselves.

See also the CBS post below.

I don’t need Michael Powell or Les Moonves to be my protector. F’ em.

25 responses to “I’m a f***ing hypocrite”

  1. James Joyner Avatar
    James Joyner

    My understanding of the FCC ruling is that the F word, like others, is only obscene when it refers to sex or excrement. So, it depends on context.
    The only rationale for the ban that I can think of is “for the children.” People should have a reasonable expectation that they can listen to the radio or watch network television without being assaulted with X-rated language, at least during the hours when the kids are up.

  2. Eric Deamer Avatar
    Eric Deamer

    Jeff:
    I’m confused by your take on the dread “n-word”. Once, you linked approvingly to dong resin’s rant about how precious and PC it was to not just come out and write it, yet “the n-word”, or “n******” seems to be the preferred formulation here, both for you and for commenters. I could be dense, and that’s only because your kids read this, as you say. Or, it could be that there is an ugly reality here of a history of racism, not just an arbitrarily defined “bad word”. But, to me this begs the question, in your heart of hearts would you prefer if people could just say it on TV, write in newspapers etc.,just like other “bad words”? Or is this one different? You’re under no obligation no justify yourself, of course. I’m just curious.

  3. Mark Gullick Avatar
    Mark Gullick

    Interestingly, a few years ago the BBC showed Apocalypse Now with all utterances of “f***” edited out. Except one. When Kurtz rants along the lines of “They train our young men to drop fire on people but they won’t let them write f*** on their aeroplanes” the Beeb let the whole line run. So they weren’t censoring the actual phonic utterance, just its use as a slang word.

  4. Jeff Jarvis Avatar
    Jeff Jarvis

    Eric: It’s a good question and one I grapple with often. I think hip-hop and Richard Pryor have been very instructive: They took over the n word and in doing so disarmed it. It’s not the word that matters. It’s the motive.

  5. Omid Avatar
    Omid

    I agree with the general idea of what you said, but there are always going to be bad words. Putting the concepts of PC and the the thought police aside for a second, we need words that are vulgur and considered offensive as a means of expression. Entire paragraphs of anger and frustration can be summarised into one or two proper curse words, and that is why we keep them around. If everyone were to start using the F-word frequently, then eventually it would lose its powers of communication and new curse words would be adopted to express extreme sentiment.

  6. R. C. Dean Avatar
    R. C. Dean

    I generally find people who curse habitually to be intellectually lazy and/or bullies, so I am very surprised to hear that Jeff uses the f word “often.” Any nitwit can curse – the words are all one syllable and there are only a handful of them. Banning them from your personal vocabulary will make you more credible and more articulate.
    Believe me, it is worse getting chewed out by someone who never raises their voice and never curses than by some halfwit screaming obscenities.

  7. ESP Avatar
    ESP

    There is an aspect of civility to using profanity that goes beyond using in the presence of children.
    I too, use profanity but I am also able to restrain myself from using out of ordinary politeness. I do not use profanity lightly because you can offend people, but if I know they are not offended I will use profanity to make a point.
    Otherwise R.C. is correct. Boors use profanity to purposely offend and do not to use it sparingly for effect.

  8. Katherine Avatar
    Katherine

    I used to think only nitwits swore frequently, but now I know too many smart folks who swear enough to singe my ears. I think the process Omid describes is already happening. Problem is, it took centuries to come up with the curse words we’ve got. What are we going to substitute?
    On a somewhat related note, as we were leaving a party Saturday night in an extremely tame, well-off suburban neighborhood, there were some drunk kids across the street getting into a car, screaming “I hate f***ing black people!” My first reaction was shock at hearing such a nasty, violent, racist sentiment in an area not known for problems with race relations. But driving down the street I thought, isn’t that the kind of hatred people usually express with a racial slur? Why were they yelling about black people instead of using the n-word? Has our society managed to stigmatize the word more than we stigmatize the racist hatred behind it? Or did they have some other reason not to use that particular word?

  9. Sandy P. Avatar
    Sandy P.

    Cursing is the crutch of the conversationa cripple, as Denny Wilson’s daddy used to say.
    And what about the “C” word?
    Is that next? It’s bad enough the “B” word is used by kids, do I really want them to start using the “C” word? I have a daughter and her hormones will be starting to fluctuate in the next few years. I really don’t need her throwing that word in my face.

  10. BTD Greg Avatar
    BTD Greg

    These issues came up in a conversation with a couple of fairly conservative colleagues of mine, the consensus was that the n-word is definitely less socially acceptable than the f-word. Certainly, it would have been more controversial if John Kerry had let that word fly in an interview with Rolling Stone, but there’s an obvious reason for that. I think we can all agree that the social stigma behind the n-word serves a useful purpose–pointing out that there are some types of racism that society won’t tolerate. Similarly, I don’t have a problem with banning the f-word, at least to some extent (for example, the family hour on network t.v.): it sends the message that there are certain vulgarities that society won’t put up with in certain situations.
    Puritanical? Maybe. Well, screw me.

  11. andy obuoforibo Avatar
    andy obuoforibo

    Words are merely icons for ideas. “Banning” a word, means “banning” the ide(s) it represents. So, what are the criteria for deciding when an idea ought not to be expressed? There are a multitude of words that express ideas which are very unpalatable to some (nazi, incest), but are not considered “vulgar”. So obviously, the ability to offend is not a fundamental criterion. Nor is the scope of offense. So many people use the f-word, and so forth, that it would seem to be a lot less offensive than it used to be. So what ARE the criteria?
    I personally have no problems with any words, because ideas do not offend me, only their application. This victorian desire to blind itself to certain parts of human behaviour is insulting to us.

  12. BTD Greg Avatar
    BTD Greg

    I personally have no problems with any words, because ideas do not offend me, only their application. This victorian desire to blind itself to certain parts of human behaviour is insulting to us.
    It’s a rarefied world of libertarian ideals in which you live.
    Look, I don’t have any problem talking about sex. Neither does American society. In fact, we’ve got a myriad of words we use to discuss matters sexual. Conversely, I would guess that the f-word only refers to sexual things a small percentage of the time it gets used.
    I’m not so much concerned with which words get singled out as vulgar so much as I’m concerned that the line is drawn somewhere. I like the fact that society maintains a pretense that says, “there ought to be some things we just don’t say in polite company.” Put another way, there are somethings I won’t say around my three-year-old daughter, and things I’d be horrified to hear her repeat.
    While I’m sure the free-thinking libertarians of the brave new cyberage are more courageous than I, I don’t have a problem with a “six dirty words” approach to social decorum. Heck, let’s rotate six new words every decade. I wouldn’t mind. Just so long as some standards are maintained.

  13. EB Avatar
    EB

    I have to say I agree with the person who mentioned that when you hear someone who never uses swear words or raises their voice admonish you, it makes more of an impression than someone using fword nword every other word. It also has some meaning when someone who never swears SWEARS. Then it has a meaning. Otherwise it is just a sound and not a word that means something.
    In the course of my working life (20 + years) I have seen the increase in civil discourse and I like it! I used to work with smoking, cussing folk elbow to elbow, now those folks are not allowed to smoke (smoke-free workplace) and they are not allowed to curse (creating a non-hostile workplace) and I much appreciate both those trends in creating a more pleasant work environment. If constant cursing were on TV, I’d stop watching that tv channel, right now I “get” a hundred channels but only have about 25 selected on my tv prefered channel list, so when I channel surf (which is rare, since TiVo) I do not go past those channels I don’t want to see.

  14. EB Avatar
    EB

    Oh, and now that I think about it, I am much more offended by the constant use of “you know” when people are talking, moreso than them cursing.
    I think we should BAN people on TV who use “you know” all the time, now THAT is something I would love. Maybe I’ll write Powell an email, you know.
    :^)

  15. Tim Avatar
    Tim

    No need for the networks or any other media organ to draw the line — draw it yourselves. If bad words crop up too often in a show, stop listening. The media should self-police and make these judgements themselves, based on what they think their audience wants.
    We remain childlike in our reaction to bad words, which is larger evidence of how so many “adults” never really grew up. Who cares? I grew up in Ireland where every second word melted paint off the walls, and I barely swear at all. I’d be more concerned about the profusion of the word “dude”, which is truly offensive.
    Oh, and a word to parents: protecting your children from bad words is not the sum total of parenting. Latchkey kids with clean vocabularies — but who also have a penchant for lighting squirrels on fire — are not well-brought up.

  16. andy obuoforibo Avatar
    andy obuoforibo

    Greg, Inasmuch as there are certain topics that might cause my eyebrows to arch if discussed by a 4-year-old, the idea of banning words strikes me as ineffective, as well as insulting and altogether subjective. Why is “n*****” as a construct more “bannable” than saying “inferior race”? (BTW, I am black, before someone starts screaming, and I don’t care if people use the word or not.) The focus on these “vulgar” words obscures the initial need for censure (to restricts certain TOPICS from being discussed in “polite company”). The message being sent is that as long as you “clean up” the language, anything can be discussed in front of anyone. SO those of you who want a segregation of conversation are still not getting what you want.

  17. BTD Greg Avatar
    BTD Greg

    Andy,
    The message being sent is that as long as you “clean up” the language, anything can be discussed in front of anyone.
    Interesting. This is basically the same thing I fear would happen if we, collectively, decided that there is no such thing as vulgar speech. In a way, you could say what I’m advocating is leaving the dirty bits in the language, with the understanding that they are dirty.
    Tim,
    Oh, and a word to parents: protecting your children from bad words is not the sum total of parenting. Latchkey kids with clean vocabularies — but who also have a penchant for lighting squirrels on fire — are not well-brought up.
    I hear you and couldn’t agree more. That’s my basic disagreement to those who would homeschool (and now I duck for cover as the homeschoolers go on the offensive). I don’t want an approach like Ned Flanders: “152 channels — all locked!” I’d rather know that, for the most part, what my kids watch on t.v. isn’t going to make me wish they hadn’t.

  18. out4blood Avatar
    out4blood

    Funny, I hear the “n-word” quite a bit, particularly in the hip hop genre. But it seems a word that only black people can use without condemnation.

  19. out4blood Avatar
    out4blood

    Interested readers might be amused at this.

  20. Frank Patrick Avatar
    Frank Patrick

    I wouldn’t worry about DYFS coming after you.
    After all, like me, you live in NJ, and we all know how effective our Garden State DYFS has been.

  21. Sam Avatar
    Sam

    That people will become so worked up over a friggen word while ignoring the rampant lying going on in America shows just how bereft of sense they’ve all become.

  22. EB Avatar
    EB

    When I was growing up people used the word “cripes” so they avoided saying Christ, e.g. For cripes sake. I also noticed that in the Uk in some films I’ve rented on dvd that it is (was) popular to say for F***’s sake … how that is better, I don’t know. But I would rather if people occasionally swore they would use the actual word and not made up pretend curse words.

  23. Doug Kenline Avatar
    Doug Kenline

    right on jeff jarvis!

  24. John Smith Avatar
    John Smith

    When it comes to Richard Pryor’s pet word, I’m still trying to figure out the rules that meant that USA Weekend had to be pulped or doctored but other American newspapers get away with using the word.

  25. Rootbeer Avatar
    Rootbeer

    I think the whole debate is silly. On the radio I can say “fook you” or “farg you” or “fudge you” or simply “eff you” and while my utterance would not literally be on the List of Seven Words, everyone listening–children and otherwise–would understand which forbidden word I was actually referring to.
    So in conclusion, Fcc you, FCC.