BuzzMachine

The media pundit's pundit. Written by NYC insider Jeff Jarvis, BuzzMachine covers news, media, journalism, and politics.

They’re blind with hairy palms, too

14 comments on They’re blind with hairy palms, too

They’re blind with hairy palms, too
: Jerry Falwell’s site is good for laughs. Today’s chuckle:

Tiffany and Kyle grew up in church. Their youth pastor warned against premarital sex, but they knew what was best for them; after all, their movies, television and music advocated it. So one night after youth group, they had sex for the first time. It was satisfying for neither; Tiffany felt horrible and Kyle was mad because she let it happen. In the years that followed, both turned away from Christ, Tiffany to drugs and prostitution, Kyle to atheism and promiscuity.

14 responses to “They’re blind with hairy palms, too”

  1. Mike G Avatar
    Mike G

    Well, at least one of them (Kyle) turned out all right then.

  2. BF Avatar
    BF

    LOL. Good one Mike.

  3. DD Avatar
    DD

    Why is that good for a chuckle? I don’t care much for Falwell, but all he’s trying to do is promote good values. Falwell is overbearing at times, but this doesn’t seem to be one of them. And unlike yourself, he isn’t laughing at those whose lives are going off the track; he is trying to do good even though you don’t care for his style.
    Can we at least give him credit for that?

  4. Spike Avatar
    Spike

    No credit is given because Falwell is implying that premarital sex leads to atheism and promiscuity, which is ridiculous. Teaching young people lies, even in the context of teaching morality, does not earn anyone credit in my eyes. If you’re going to teach kids to be moral, upright human beings, that is honorable. “Teaching” them by lying just teaches them how to lie.

  5. BF Avatar
    BF

    “Why is that good for a chuckle?”
    Because promiscuous blind atheists with hairy palms are funny!

  6. Moe Lane Avatar
    Moe Lane

    “No credit is given because Falwell is implying that premarital sex leads to atheism and promiscuity, which is ridiculous.”
    Whew! Good thing that somebody told me; I was getting ready to go spit on the crucifix and then hit a single’s bar.
    Sorry; that snideness was directed at Falwell. It’s people like that who made it – shall we say, ‘expedient’ – for me in college to play down my mild conservatism…

  7. Mike G Avatar
    Mike G

    DD– The other awful thing that happened to Kyle once he was out of Falwell’s grip was… he grew a frickin’ sense of humor. Jeebus on a stick!

  8. BF Avatar
    BF

    People, you are all missing the important question, which is:
    How does Kyle get all that action?
    Might it be the hairy palms?

  9. Trevor Avatar
    Trevor

    …and Kyle was mad because she let it happen.
    Heh. Now that’s funny. Sure, every guy wants to have sex and will do whatever necessary to make it happen, but who gets mad at the girl afterwards for not resisting his overtures?

  10. Mike G Avatar
    Mike G

    “but who gets mad at the girl afterwards for not resisting his overtures?”
    A kid who’s been all screwed up by religion, apparently.

  11. BF Avatar
    BF

    “…and Kyle was mad because she let it happen”
    We’ve heard this before. It ends:
    And they were banished to the land of Nod, East of Eden.
    That would be, perhaps, New York or San Francisco?

  12. hey Avatar
    hey

    “mad cause she let it happen”
    wtf?????
    never ever been “mad at her” cause “she let it happen”
    mad at myself, occasionally, for really bad decisions…
    but mad at her… uh no
    not a chance
    ever

  13. Sean Avatar
    Sean

    “The Purity Principle” was written by a fellow named Randy Alcon, who I know from firsthand testimonials to be one of the top writers in the Christian book genre. His other books can be found here: http://www.epmore/books.html
    Some of my favorite titles:
    “Lord Foulgrin’s Letters”: Tells the exciting story of Foulgrin, “a high-ranking demon” who attacks a presumably pious family for uncovering a document they were “not intended to see”. The blurb boasts the book is “like placing a bugging device in hell’s war room, where we overhear our enemies assessing our weakness and strategizing attack.”
    “Is Rescuing Right?”: A “passionate but clear-minded example of the issue of picketing and blocking abortion clinics” which the blurb boasts is “steeped in Scripture.”
    “Deadline”: The “best-selling story of a politically correct journalist” who learns to “deal with the consequences of his skewed perspectives on life.”
    “Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?” (Do I NEED to add anything to that?)
    As they say, read the rest (and try not to laugh too hard if you’re at work). For further amusement, note which section “The Purity Principle” is classified under.

  14. Rob Avatar
    Rob

    At least they didn’t join PNAC.