Can’t beat Western modernism

Can’t beat Western modernism
: Bet they don’t have this in Baghdad or Tehran:

So this weekend I drive up to the drive-through window at Burger King to pick up my kid’s nutritious lunch, dreading that moment of miscommunication:

“Schwelcome schto Schburschger Schking. Schmay scheye schtake schyour schorder?”

Chicken tenders meal, large with fries and orange soda; cheeseburger [for Dad], large Coke…

You know what happens next; I could carry this shaggy-dog story for for a page of pixels: They repeat the order; I can’t understand what the hell they’re saying; I make them repeat the reptition; they get it wrong; I shout at the stupid box; they get pissy back, which only distorts the sound more; we repeat this routine four times; I drive up to the window looking angry and fearing that the bozo with the microphone just spit in my food.

But now my local Burger King has a new innovation: Right there under the schquack schbox is a monitor screen. “Confirm your order,” it says as it prints out what the bozo with the microphone just entered.

“Right,” I say. I’m happy. The kid is fed. No spit.

American technology.

American commerce.


Can’t beat it.