@sternshow: penises

I finally get into Howard Stern’s studio for the first time and what do we talk about? What else? Small penises. How appropriate.

I was headed in yesterday morning to talk about Lotus Notes vs. Google with Howard’s tech guru, IBM’s Jeff Schick, and get a tour of the studio and its operation. Then Howard invited us in, on the air. We talked geek stuff for a few minutes (more on that later) when Howard asked what I was up to next. I came prepared. I said I was working on a possible book about publicness (new idea) and wanted to talk to him about it. Ask what you have to ask on the air, Howard said. So I asked him whether he had regrets about his public life and about his view that people are better off public. He said he thought his listeners were better off because he was willing to talk about anything, even masturbation and lesbians.

I told Howard that he had cleared the way for me to — even inspired me to — talk about my prostate cancer in public. Howard, of course, cut to the blunt question: “Are you getting it up now?” Answer: no.

We talked about the gory, intimate details of prostate cancer: the strange, “internal” orgasms; the harpoons up the ass for biopsies; the garden hose out of the dick after surgery. The cast groaned at each of these. “You fucking shut me up,” Howard said. I fear I was discouraging men from getting tested when I meant to do the opposite. And Howard acknowledged, as hard as it was, that he, too, would have opted to get the cancer out. Hell, he can’t stand sniffing brass polish on his condo door without thinking he’s getting cancer.

I wish I were funnier and more fun. Over the years, I’ve called into the show about the First Amendment and the FCC, about gadgets and geek stuff, and now about cancer. What a ball of fun I am. Good thing we didn’t talk 9/11.

It was great fun visiting the show. On the air, as a guest, I stood right inside the door, by a wall behind the couch, with a headset and mic on. To my right was Fred and I was delighted the first time he played a sound effect to back up what I was saying. I got Fredded! To my left was Jeff Schick and behind him, behind glass, Robin. Howard sat three-quarters of the way across the studio — quite a distance — in his command center, looking a little gaunt (too much exercise, I’d say), and beyond him was the Wheel of Sex and the Gary puppet and all that.

As soon as the show went to break, folks walked into the studio, Howard chatted a bit, and I left him to his work. Outside the studio. Steve Langford of Howard 100 News held his mic in front of me sucking quotes out with his puppy-dog silences. They take video. They get releases.

And then Jeff and I toured, meeting Scott the Engineer, Sal and RIchard (so polite), the Howard TV folks, and more. The amazingly nice Gary Dell’Abate and I talked gadgets. What impresses me is just how nice these folks are. Makes you want to work there, even with the ball-busting.

LATER: Howard talked about prostate cancer again this morning after having obsessed on it last night: “I was so upset for him. And then of course, it turned to me and I have cancer…. Seems to me that doctors ought to sit down and figure out how to remove prostate cancer without removing a guy’s boner…. Every male on the planet should be donating money to prostate cancer research….

“I just had a bad day with that. Every day seems like a bad day to me because everything drives me nuts.”

  • Most importantly… how bad did Richard smell?

    Big fan of Howard and of #TWIG and pretty much the whole Twit network.

    Listening to you on Howard was ‘hella cool’ as the kids say. I must say I was surprised you made it on air. I had the feeling Howard would wave Gary off telling him he didn’t need to meet you or maybe he would get bored during the interview and say something like “ok.. hey tell everyone where they can reach you” after 60 seconds.

    But I guess you have listened to the show long enough that you need to get straight to the point. And boy did you.

    Even this morning Howard made a reference to your appearance first thing on the show, even though he had Courtney ‘Train wreck’ Love on the day before.

    If i was just a Howard fan i would say, i have no idea who this guy is but i can listen to him talk about his experience with cancer and technology.

    It was extremely refreshing, honest and engaging. And i think you really achieved something, and that is; prostate cancer isn’t something to be embarrassed about or shouldn’t be embarrassed to voice your concerns to your doctor.

    It’s Tuesday morning and it will certainly be on the best of the week and will be remembered long after Courtney Love’s story about her questionable financial decisions.

    -andrew (Howard and TWIG fan)

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  • Toronto Bob

    Congrats on your appearance Jeff. It’s always nice to hear a smart Stern fan on the air for a change! I’ve always wanted to be in-studio – without being slapped by a fish or some thing equaly horrible. My favourite April Fools Day I told my wife I was selected for Win Fred’s Money, and would she risk getting naked? To my surprise she said yes! I told her we’d have to answer his questions with complete honesty – just like you did Jeff – and still she agreed – knowing what it meant – she get’s the show. I think we were both disappointed when I said April Fools.

  • yuri

    great appearance. the cancer talk just increased my fear of growing old; makes turning 30 in two yrs. a bit scarier.

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  • jh

    Always enjoy your appearances and while the most recent made me uncomfortable I also realized it’s the reason I listen to Howard… where else are you going to hear a frank discussion of such things. Hopefully you inspired some people to get checked.

  • Jeremy

    Great appearance, Jeff.
    FYI, despite Leo saying he doesn’t believe there isn’t a lot over overlap between Stern fans and his shows, I think he’s wrong. I listen to every Stern show religiously and I also listen to 8 shows from the TWIT network (including TWIG, of course)….and I know I’m not alone.
    When you perform the crossover role, bridging the two worlds, it is very cool. Keep up the great, great work.

    • Jeremy

      EDIT/typo/brainfart: Leo doesn’t believe there IS a lot of overlap…not ISN’T

    • borkley

      I too am a Stern and TWIT fan. It’s the two main sources of audio entertainment I digest in a week. Then if I have extra time I’ll listen to Carolla or NPR. I listen to at least Stern + TWIT + Macbreak + TWIG every week though. There is definite overlap (Doesn’t Alex Lindsay also mention Stern frequently?).

  • Ichiro

    That was great Jeff!
    Im a huge stern fan and I feel like “My worlds are colliding!” :)
    The Stern world and the TWIT World.

    Great interview!
    Maybe you can get Techno-Beaver on TWIT?


  • You don’t always have to be a ball of fun. Part of the magic of the Stern show is the episodic nature. The “regulars” grow, change. We follow them. You are not simply the Stern shows tech and social media guy, you are a person. I found yesterdays intimate and honest discussion a nice “point du depart” — as they say in France. It gave you another dimension.

  • Brandon Veski

    I am so glad that I grabbed and emailed the original TWIG clip regarding Lotus Notes and got responses from both Ralph Cirella and JD!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOn5XEz6DHs

    A few days later Howard commented here and Jeff played this on TWIG http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cw5AuWIzJ4s&feature=related and the debate marched on!

    This was an example of synergy at its finest.

    Take a Bow Jeff!! Bravo!

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  • On the prostate side of things… thanks for bringing it up ( no pun intended )… any discussion is good. My office manager heard the show and it made him think prostate and that’s good. jm

  • I heard most of your appearance on Stern and thought it was great, honest, real; that is what The Stern Show is about. Thanks for talking about your cancer and its effects on you…who knew those penis pumps had a legitimate medical use?

  • Villa316

    Just wanted to let you know that i thought you were great on The Howard Stern Show the other day. I alway like your contributions to the show whenever they are, no matter how long or short your airtime is. And your contribution to the awareness of prostate cancer and preventive screening is important. I hope he has you on more often.

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  • After 30 years as a rabbi and gerontologist, I became a prostate cancer patient, then survivor, author plus healthcare and sex educator. My background explains why I applaud the public pubic discussion of prostate cancer treatment effects, namely ED (aka, impotence). This is justifiably the most feared prostate cancer treatment outcome, as I note in my book, Conquer Prostate Cancer: How Medicine, Faith, Love and Sex Can Renew Your Life. What needs to be discussed, but was omitted on Howard’s show with Jeff, is how men and women can cope with post-treatment ED through an emphasis on “making love’ rather than “having sex”. Still, I advocate what several sex educators call “whole body sex” through sensate focus, that is, focusing on the sensual response of each part of your body. It’s also important to point out how prostate cancer is a woman’s problem too, due to ED and other effects of this disease. I’ve addressed these matters not only in my book but in my blog, ConquerProstateCancer.com, and in print and in the media. It’s important to air these matters publicly, given that prostate cancer is the leading non-skin male cancer, which will be the lot of 80% of men who reach the age of 80. – Rabbi Ed Weinsberg, EdD,DD

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  • There is a lot of spam in comments, dont spam the Internet ppl!

    My uncle had a prostate cancer and it was a nightmare for him and all his family…

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