Fake breasts

OK, now that that little bit of performance art with Strumpette is over, I’m left fascinated by the psychology of the troll.

Clearly, Amanda is the figment of someone’s wet dream. Even I, high priest of transparency, couldn’t see anyone writing a bio like this. Yes, it’s a shame those “perfect perky boobs” aren’t real. Amanda has no visible Google tracks prior to this blog; a person without Googlelife is our modern equivalent of a vampire with no image in a mirror. Many others have tried to track down Amanda. They point their accusing fingers at Brian Connolly, who shares trollish tendencies and IP addresses — and an unusual interest in a certain PR company — but who denies it. I don’t much care.

What interests me is why someone goes to all this trouble to troll. What’s the agenda? Who’s the real target? If this were terribly sophisticated it could be an effort to spoof and ridicule bloggers or PR people. Naw. It could, indeed, be performance art or a book proposal: How I fooled those damned bloggers. It could be someone who hates PR people trying to make them look bad. It could be a case of missing some meds (or secretly longing for a sex-change operation). It could be a vast PR conspiracy to say what PR people have to be too polite to say — after all, Amanda, Chris the alleged intern, and this guy Connolly all hail from Chicago. Coincidence? Yeah. I don’t believe in conspiracy theories; the world’s not that organized. I think this is simpler: Amanda has a hard-on for Edelman. “She” attacked Steve Rubel when he joined them; she went after me only after Richard Edelman defended me against Chris the alleged intern. I have a suspicion that Amanda lost a few clients or a job to Edelman. Who cares?

But this vendetta or spoof, whatever it is, takes a great deal of effort. Amanda’s site is elaborate and she clearly has lots of time or little life and can spend what she has leaving theatrical snark on blogs all over. The troll lives to attack. Like Hezbollah or Al Qaeda, they lurk in the shadows and strike for sport, never building, only destroying. The troll is usually chickenshit, hiding from plain view and open conversation. I don’t get that. I have too much ego not to say what I have to say under my own name.

What amuses me most about this show is that Nick Carr thinks he has found his soulmate: a marriage of trolls. I fear that he’s in for a surprise not unlike those shlubs who think they’re going dating on Dateline. Your dream girl isn’t what you think. She’s all silicone.

: UPDATE: See the comments or this post above: Amanda exposed.

  • Ugh, upon further review. I may have to un-withdraw my calling “her” a troll.

    If “Amanda” doesn’t exist and is a phony identity… All that time wasted… I feel dirty.

  • C’mon, isn’t the answer obvious? All PR people know: Sex Sells. Across the spectrum, from Ann Coulter to the Wonkette act (which was an act), one winning formula is to put outrageous statements in the mouth of a visually-appealing woman. Maybe it shouldn’t be true, but it is true, and flacks will exploit it.

    Plus, for a created character, the work can be farmed-out to others. How do you know it’s one person behind all the posts?

    So, for all the supposed “authetic voice” of blog, they make it very easy to go beyond creating personas (“Angry White Man”), into creating actual characters (“Strumpette”). And is that so very different – if traffic and attention are the rewards for scripted lines, why not go for the computer-generated special effects too?

    That’s the deepest problem here, with what it says about blogs. If you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made.

  • Guy Love

    Regardless of whether Amanda is a virtual avatar, at least the posts were entertaining. On top of that, the blog posts (minus Amanda) had some good comments about the changing landscape of corporate relationships with their customers.

  • Old Grouch

    …and the issue must be important to a lot of people, otherwise there wouldn’t have been 80+ comments.

  • Oh, it’s quite entertaining theater. That’s why I decided to get on stage.
    But if the comments are so insightful, why not make them under your own name? Why not take credit? Why don’t get clients as a result? Because there’s something else at work here.

  • james


    She’s all silicon.

  • If you did just a little research, you’d readily find that there are 5 people that write for the character “Amanda Chapel.”

    Why a character? Two reasons:

    1. It provides us a platform (brand) where we are able to draw attention to some of the hypocritical issues that presently plague PR.

    2. It’s safe. This shields us from ad hominem arguments which are a mainstay of net discussion. See, in the “flat world,” Jeff can rally 6 million people (as with Dell) with pitch forks and torches very well. Regrettably, that comes without any real depth. That, by definition, is a mob. Mobs like hangins.

    Our motive is simple to check the blog hype, especially in PR, and to do that without retribution.

    Kind regards,

    – Amanda

    PS Regarding Edelman… They get our attention a lot because they are some of the most prolific blog advocates in PR. We’ve come to call their “Me2Revolution,” the Me2CommieBastards.

  • Rex

    Perhaps the reason they are soul mates? Just a theory: Nick Carr is Amanda Chapel. Or maybe Nick is John Dvorak.

  • Michael


    You forgot one:

    “3. It will make us money. We hope.”

    Don’t feign a higher purpose on our account.

  • Michael,

    You’re projecting.

    – Amanda

  • “Amanda”,

    Michael may be projecting his point 3.

    But your point 2 makes it clear that: “Amanda Chapel” is (are) a (bunch of) coward(s).

    A pseudonym is fine, if its known to be one. A fake identity that multiple people hide behind (couldn’t each of you get your own ID?) is an act of fraud.

    I liked “Amanda” better when she was just a “whore”.

    Trying to avoid “ad hominem attacks”, or “retribution”. Yet you engage in them behind your mask.

    You’ve got some nerve to talk about exposing hypocrisy, when you’ve been concealing your own.

  • Shawn,

    I don’t want to know you personally. I absolutely don’t want a connection other than the appropriate forum and regarding the issue in discussion.

    That’s not being a coward. That’s just not wanting some Net nutcase in my life!

    – Amanda

    PS Jeff… regarding the title of this post, for the record, they’re all mine; and they’re stunning.

  • Authors of “Amanda”,

    if that’s your reason. Use a pseudonym. And separate pseudonyms for each of you. It’s been done before with many other bloggers who’ve chosen to maintain their privacy. You do pay a price in that people don’t know for sure what experience or background you have that would give your opinions weight. But at least its an honest mask in that we all know its a mask.

    The way you present yourselves as if “Amanda” is a real person with a real background that claims a very specific resume, you try to aoid the tradeoffs of a pseudonym via fraud.

    Given the scandalous nature of “Amanda’s” bio, I have to wonder if your whole purpose is just a prank, performance art, or a P.R. stunt.

    I even doubt that you believe the positions you put forth, but instead put out inflammatory material to deliberately stir up a fight. If you are in this to engage in debate and inform people, you have done your cause a great disservice by going this route.

    You lied about who you are. Trust is not easy to gain over the internet. You blew your shot.

  • The last few days Buzzmachine has been puzzling over a question. A question of great importance in the Buzzmachine community. At great expense this commenter has obtained the answer to that question. But instead of reading it himself, he has had it hermetically sealed in a mason jar, and placed on Funk and Wagnal’s doorstep since 3:00 am this morning. Now here, before your eyes, he shall divine the answer to the question.

    Answer: 5 mailroom interns with arrested emotional development.

    And the question is, “What do the people behind Amanda Chapel aspire to be?”

  • Shawn, Alan:

    “Behind me 6 million with pitchforks and torches ready to storm castle Dell.”

    Listen, Jarvis is a demagogue. You are his people. I don’t want to be a part of your mob world. To be a part of the web populism is apparently base and dehumanizing. Sadly, it is apparently all you’ve got.

    – Amanda

    PS Shawn… get a girlfriend.

  • Unamanda:
    Bullshit. The web empowers us and that is what you, would-be demagogue, cannot abide.
    Cue Bob Dylan.

  • Authors of Amanda,

    What Jeff is or isn’t, or how literally you’ve taken his metaphor is no longer an issue, so long as it’s you are the one questioning him.

    Your a liar. Arguing with you would prove pointless. That’s what my last few posts have been about. Anything more is a waste of breath.

    “Get a girlfriend”…

    My wife would object.

    Cheap insults don’t help your image either.

  • I would blame Amanda’s poor showing in rhetoric and repartee on our execrable education system, but some people simply can’t be helped.

    Amanda dear, sarcasm is supposed to be cutting. You wit has all the edge of a cheap pillow.

  • Jeff:

    Stifle your little thugs and back off with the ad hominem.

    For the record, I am an iconoclast. You’re the would-be demagogue. I don’t have a 6 million person torch-and-pitchfork-bearing mob. I am not directing any one to do anything let alone storm castle Dell. I am not praying on weak populist sentiment. You are.

    – Amanda

  • Nonamanda:
    I don’t tell them to say anything and they wouldn’t anyway. You just don’t respect their voices and opinions, that’s obvious.
    But I agree: You are a liar. And you don’t have the balls (well, you do in a literal sense, I’m sure, just not in a metaphoric sense) to stand up under your own name and say what you think.
    You are the bully the hectoring tone.
    Don’t YOU get tired of that act? I’m certainly quite tired of it.
    Time to get in a new sitcom, fella.

  • Antiamanda,
    Oh, and as for your harping love of the pitchfork metaphor: You miss the point by a mile. I didn’t gather those people. They gathered themselves. The internet makes it possible for them to do that now. We can find each other. That’s all that happened. I told my tale of woe and other shared theirs. Together, we do have a loud voice, but it the volume of individuals brought together. That is why companies must treat any customer as if she were every customer, for she is. You can wish that away all you want — for whatever strange control issues you have — but it is the way of the world. So you can drop your torch now.

  • Jeff,

    Russia 1917. How did that work out?

    I know you believe in what you are saying Jeff. However, that doesn’t make the ideology any less destructive or dangerous.

    – Amanda

    PS If Benjamin Franklin were alive, he surely would have an anonymous blog. Franklin truths invariably arrived under a variety of names.

  • The “amanda chapel” hoax is pathetic Luddites who hate democracy.

    When all your team of 5 superlative “writers” can do is insult and name call, using the F word when their argument collapses, well…

    don’t feed the trolls.

    Usually I ignore these cashless ankle biters. At other times, especially when they gang up on a friend, I take to bashing them directly and hatefully. They can’t take their own medicine.


  • 5 guys hiding cowardly behind an Asian woman avatar, called “amanda chapel”. Real good for race relations, you sexist chauvinist patriarchal oligarchy dorks.

  • @ A Man Duh Chapel:

    Calling “Of the People, By the People, For the People” something unseemly, populism, whatever.

    go to a junior college, cuz yr poor, and take a class on political theory.

    You worship hierarchy, i.e. Oligarchy.

  • Welp, sounds like another day in the metaverse to me!

    Now, shut up and sit on this poseball, Crumpette.

  • Also, Al Pacino called. He’s *pissed*.

  • Heh. Eric Rice the zinger slinger makes Vaspers laugh.

  • Iconoclast? Nah. Just a garden variety run of the mill troll slug.

  • Let’s all force the amanda chapel Libelous Troll Brigade to listen to hours upon hours of Atari Teenage Riot, 64 Revolt, Venom 8888, Rage Against the Machine, Rise Against, and Ambassador 21 anarchy music.

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  • Epiphany

    She’s really got you guys rattled. Ha ha ha.

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  • I’m so dissapointed to understand that Amada isn’t real.

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