My 2006 predictions and 2005 wrapups

My 2006 prediction: You won’t catch me writing another damned post filled with bullshit predictions for 2006.

My 2005 wrapup: I already had enough bullshit in 2005, who needs more?

Gawd, I hate the end of the year. I’d list the top 10 reasons why I hate the end of the year. But I have only one reason: End-of-the-year lists. I hate ’em.

  • Sheesh. You’re no fun.

  • Louis

    Ironic, considering the role you played in the creation of the largest list generating operation in the history of mankind. Namely, EW.

  • Penance, Louis, penance. I’ll say five Hail Madonnas and do a good act of hyping.

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  • Well, I’m relieved. I thought that Instapundit wrote that Jarvis hated Liszt. And I said to myself, “Now, what does Jeff have against Hungarian composers?”

    So I hurry on over here to see what the rumpus is, and I find that it’s merely an aversion to numbering. Whew!

    Must have been all the year-end holiday baccanalia in which I have been indulging. I will chalk this mistake up to too much drink. Because after all, sooner or later, everything is just Bartalk.

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  • Of course you hate end of year wrapups and predictions. You write (nearly) 365 days a year, and have no need to write fluff to fill in the holiday season.

    90% of those things are written (or mostly written) long before Thanksgiving.

  • Here’s a list from another guy who doesn’t like lists

  • Right… right… Jeff just tells everyone what to do and what needs to be done the other 50 weeks a year. Pah-lease.

  • Required Name

    >I already had enough bullshit in 2005, who needs more?


    >I already wrote enough bullshit in 2005, who needs more!

  • Jason:
    Oh, no, Jeff committed the cardinal sin of not doing what Jason does. Puhleeze, pardon me!

  • Required: That’s what I was saying. Want me to twist my own sword? There. Done. Pardon me while I lay dying.

  • Cheery around here isn’t it.

  • Steve Skubinna

    I hate top ten lists all the time, and not just at year’s end. Why are there only ten of anything worth listing? What’s the difference between number eleven, which didn’t make the cut, and number ten? Items of note do not organize themselves into tens any more than history organizes itself into decades and centuries.

    The only thing I hate more than top ten lists are year end lists of “what’s hot and what’s not.” Who the hell authorized these morons who write for the style section and lifestyle magazines to decide that crap? I’ll eat sushi or Cajun or Thai food anytime, not because some metrosexual thinks it’s cool.

    Oh yeah, the only other thing I hate more than top ten lists and “what’s hot, what’s not” lists are new year’s resolutions. If a resolution is worth keeping, it’s worth making whenever it occurs to you to do it.

    Huh… that’s only three things I hate about this time of year… need another seven to make ten…

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  • I predict that in the Year 2006…

    …Howard Dean’s head will explode from internal pressure.

    …some actor will be caught with his pants down, and the media will talk about it until long after we stop caring.

    …at least one major newspaper/news magazine will go bankrupt, after spending way too much ink on that actor who got caught with his pants down.

    …some natural disaster will occur, and global warming/America/the secret death-ray will be blamed as the cause.

    …scientists will announce the discovery of extraterrestrial microscopic life beneath the surface of Mars. Creationists will immediately denounce this as a Satanic conspiracy, and claim that Mars is in fact the location of Hell.

    …a people’s revolution, demanding full democracy, will topple the Iranian regime. France will offer political asylum for the exiled leaders.

    …T** C***** will divorce. And get married. And break Oprah’s couch.

    …bloggers will become more powerful than the press. Then the CORRUPTION of blogging sets in.

  • wish ya lots of bullshit lists to do in the new year.

  • Thanks for that awesome posting. It saved MUCH time :-)