Andy Rooney’s solution to all the world’s problems

Andy Rooney’s solution to all the world’s problems

: Andy Rooney — for whom I have little tolerance; even two minutes is too many — says of CBS News tonight: “I don’t feel real good about it these days.”

The cause of his agita is the Rathergate snafu. The cure, in Rooney’s view, is this:

Turn our Evening News With Dan Rather into a one-hour broadcast seven nights a week. Provide it as a public service in exchange for the license that CBS has to make hundreds of millions of dollars from the entertainment shows that Les Moonves puts on.

The American public gets most of its news from television, and it doesn’t get enough. The Evening News is 20 minutes long — nowhere near long enough to tell Americans what’s going on in their own country, let alone anywhere else.

Oh, man, that’s the exact wrong way to go. More Dan Rather? No thanks. More formulaic network news? Uh-uh.

That’s what I would expect Andy Rooney’s solution to be. And that’s not the right solution.

If network news is going to survive, it has to break away from its old formulas and old star system, it has to be open to new definitions of TV news.

Rooney goes on, unfortunately:

One of the reasons America is hated around the world is because we’re ignorant of everyone else’s problems, and that’s partly our fault. Television provides too little foreign news.

So, send a bunch of CBS reporters to other countries, too, so we give viewers an idea of what’s happening somewhere other than here. If CBS News was on the air every night for an hour, it might make people forget this mistake.

Oh, man. So Andy says we’re hated around the world because we don’t watch enough CBS News. That’s so stupid it’s offensive, so offensive it’s just stupid.

Yes, it’s time to reform CBS News. And the first thing I would do is get rid of Andy Rooney.

13 responses to “Andy Rooney’s solution to all the world’s problems”

  1. No one U know... Avatar
    No one U know…

    Well, considering Andy is on CBS, did you expect him to say ABC or NBC News? It’s not about sending reporters around the world, it’s focusing on what’s good and bad in the US first and then you could look around. Trust me, I’m no fan of Rather, and haven’t been for years, but TV news and “journalism” in general has just gotten lazy and pathetic. They rarely challenge something that they know is false and rarely call people on their lies.

  2. RobertL Avatar

    Jeff, you’re kidding about Rooney, aren’t you? The first thing to do is suspend Mr. Rather and Ms. Mapes, with pay, until CBS makes public the results of its investigation. That’s what happens to, for example, law enforcement officers any time their actions are controversial. Why shouldn’t it be done in the case of a newsreader and producer who appear to have participated in fraud? Otherwise, it’s C-BS as usual.

  3. stan Avatar

    It kills me to have to agree with a old hackneyed fart like Mr. Rooney. On all stated points, but the starring role of Mr. Rather who was, I’ll call it tired, 10 years ago, he has a point.
    Imagine, an hour, well 45 minutes or so plus commercials, six nights a week (I’ll assume 60 Minutes could fill the role in the time slot on Sunday.) of actual news and analysis. Not as dry and eggheaded as NewsHour, but actual news none the less … with twenty-three hours a day to consider whether some story or other is News worthy. This would require handing the reigns over to the next generation, rounding up disgruntled types from around the industry, and redifining, or rather “retroing”, the idea of network news. Oh, it’ll happen about sixty days after hell freezes over, but it’s nice to dream.

  4. John Avatar

    Well, a “CBS News Channel” would be an interesting concept, especially if they tied Dan to the chair on the set and made him anchor it 24/7/365. I figure about Day 3 of sleep depravation he’d go off and start making his train whistle noises in the middle of some international report on secterian fighting in Kashmir or some other world hot-spot, which would provide its own entertainment value.

  5. John Avatar

    If there were fully-staffed foreign bureaus around the world, there might be something in what Rooney suggests. But there aren’t.
    Today, the local offices are staffed with two or three people who work the phones with producers. They generally hire stringers and local camera crews to do whatever story is popping. If it’s a big story, then the big-foot parachutes in.
    There once was a time when foreign correspondents really knew their areas and had some expertise in the issues. Not anymore.
    This, I think, is a place where bloggerdom is weak as well. It’s well and good that we can read a French or Iranian blog. They certainly have value. But unless there’s someone to provide context to the receiving audience, the data is just that, data. It needs some sort of mediation to become information.
    I’ve yet to find many American bloggers with real foreign experience commenting on the regions and issues they know around the world.

  6. Michael Avatar

    “Not as dry and eggheaded as NewsHour, but actual news none the less”
    That’s the problem – our culture now expects to be entertained while watching the news. Reminds me of Neil Postman’s thesis in Amusing Ourselves to Death.

  7. billg Avatar

    Actually, Rooney didn’t say the cure was watching more CBS News. He said the cure was more reporting by CBS News (and, by extension, other news producers). Whether or not anyone watches is a different matter. There is no shortage of international news available to most Americans, if they want to find it.
    In truth, the rest of the world is at least as ignorant of the U.S. as we are of them. It’s easy to beat ourselves up because we watch 20 minutes of profit-conditioned TV news, rather than spend hours tracking down primary sources. Compare that, however, with the rest of the world, which is either getting their own 20-minutes of TV or can’t afford a TV. Toss in government-controlled media (e.g., China and, in large measure, Russia), self-politicized outlets that march to an ideological drum, plus incompetent and/or under-resourced outlets, and the result is a global population that remains, by and large, ignorant of what’s going on over the next hill.
    Anyone who has spent some time living outside the U.S. understands that it is American media, not local media, that shape the views of most people about the U.S. Every movie, every TV show, every commercial, every magazine, every CD we export paints an image of the U.S.

  8. Dave Schuler Avatar

    One of the reasons America is hated around the world is because we’re ignorant of everyone else’s problems, and that’s partly our fault. Television provides too little foreign news.

    Hmmm. Interesting. The U. S. with at least a putatively free press knows less about everyone else’s problems (and ours of course) than do the people in the world with a state-controlled press. It does make a certain amount of sense since the truth about Saddam Hussein’s regime was suppressed by the Western press in order to preserve their access (I’ve always been puzzled by that by the way. Access to do what?).
    A more credible explanation would appear to me to be that the people elsewhere in the world are deliberately kept ignorant of their own problems by their leaders and that we have a much more realistic view here.

  9. Angelos Avatar

    While I share the disdain for Rooney, and think that more network news would just be more unwatched network news, the point about the ignorance of Americans regarding foreign affairs is true.
    I’m not sure more TV is the answer though – isn’t that part of the problem? And are the people who need the extra info going to be watching, or flipping to The Bachelor?

  10. jeff Avatar

    I generally don’t support euthanasia, but in Rooney’s case, it’s clear his suffering needs to end.

  11. Tom Maguire Avatar

    Maybe Mr. Rooney was attempting a subtle variation on the old saw – first prize, a weekend in Philadelphia; second prize, a full week in Philadelphia…

  12. :r Avatar

    Wow. You really don’t like Rooney, eh?
    TV news sucks, but Rooney’s suggestions of restaffing foreign bureau desks is a good one – something this is sorely lacking these days.

  13. Ralph Avatar

    I have to agree with Rooney. Both are excellent suggestions.