The Daily Stern: The __ word

The Daily Stern: The __ word

: I went to a local school play this weekend and late into act I, one of the actors — apparently unaware that his mike was open — said during a moment of surprise onstage, “oh, my _______ God.”

It was as if a ghost flew over the audience as principals and parents alike uttered an almost inaudible gasp, a blow-to-the-crotch grunt.

OK, so the kid did something he certainly should not have done. But you know what? The world didn’t fall apart. Grandmas did not swoon. Little brothers and sisters did not go racing into the street __ word.

It’s just a word. And I noted the irony of the FCC’s efforts to stomp it out: Here the word was uttered by a child. Now you might say that’s just why the FCC is trying ot protect him from it. But he didn’t learn that word from broadcast or any publication hoping to get on the shelf at Walmart; he got it surely from another kid. And it’s no big _______ deal.

We have gone insane thinking that one word and corrupt the nation and that the government should protect us from it, fining and even relinquishing the licenses of broadcasters who dare let it be uttered. How _______ absurd. How offensive to our constitutional souls that is.

This is like the bizarro version of Orwell’s 1984, when government does not create the words we must utter but instead creates a secret list of the words we must not utter: Newnewspeak.

: And today The NY Times reports on some of the many absurd, offensive incidents of broadcasters censoring themselves because they don’t know what the government may or may not fine:

+ Masterpiece Theater for the first time desalinizes salty British language.

+ An Indianapolis station bleeped “urinate,” “damn,” and “orgy” out of Rush Limbaugh’s show!

+ Stations have stopped airing Elton John’s “The Bitch is Back” and the Rolling Stones’ “Bitch.”

+ PBS considered excising a scene in the Antiques Road Show that showed a picture of a nude Marilyn Monroe.

+ Last week, WABC bleeped “parachute” because the host mispronounced the “u” sound with an “i” sound.

What’s just as absurd is that the Times goes out of its way not to define any of these words or even use the first letter. We can’t even say __ word anymore.

Just whom are we protecting from what — and at what price?

: MEET THE NANNIES: The LA Times does a long profile of the Parents Television Council, the self-appointed nanny council started by the frightening Brent Bozell.

“They are, in a large way, setting the agenda at the FCC,” says Robert Corn-Revere, a Washington, D.C., lawyer who is working to undo the council’s victory regarding the Bono decision. Corn-Revere represents a coalition of broadcasters and free-speech activists

13 responses to “The Daily Stern: The __ word”

  1. Mike Avatar

    So according to your logic, it would have been OK for the school to put on a play with any sort of curse word (or other offensive word which you see fit to censor on your blog comments) uttered by every actor or actress on stage? So if this play’s script was full of expletives, you would have no problem with this? I’m assuming this was at a local high school. And then where would you draw the line, would it be OK for grade school kids to put on a play with using the F word?
    I understand your logic in commenting that the world didn’t fall apart and such, but that doesn’t mean it should be acceptable. Of course I don’t think the kid should be punished either. Intent, although hard to ensure, does play a role here. And I think that should be applied to the FCC.

  2. Jeff Jarvis Avatar

    Mike: Don’t be ridiculous. I said the kid should not have said it. The only point is that we are attacking nothing less than the First Amendment to protect this kid from hearing a word he already certainly knows.

  3. Mike Avatar

    Agreed. I don’t think anyone can say that kids don’t already know these words.
    But don’t you think the reason the kid knew he shouldn’t have said it, is one of the reasons the FCC exists? If Stern et al. were allowed to say anything they wanted over the airwaves that sort of logic would simply be extended to high school plays and etc.
    I don’t agree with the bill that is currently going through congress, but I do think there needs to be some form of regulation and enforcement.

  4. TC-LeatherPenguin Avatar

    Bozell’s just a dumb drunk crank with access to barrels of ink carrying Tipper Gore’s PMRC water.

  5. Insomniac Avatar
    Insomniac

    Wait…Rush said “urinate,” “damn,” and “orgy”?
    If he said that in one sentence, maybe I should listen to the fat ______.

  6. bartelson Avatar
    bartelson

    Brent Bozell isn’t frightening. He’s just ridiculous.

  7. Steel Magnolia Avatar
    Steel Magnolia

    Masterpiece Theater of the Absurd
    As I watched “Prime Suspect” on PBS last night, the bleeping was executed so badly that I thought there was interference in the signal. When I realized that they were excising words like “Jesus” and “bastard,” it occurred to me that perhaps the industry is deliberately annoying the “hell” out of as many viewers as they possibly can. That should generate enough (counter)complaints to keep FCC busy, no? Let’s just show them what carrying ill defined strictures to their own illogical ends really means!
    It ‘s rather like a benign variation on the opposition to California’s Proposition 13. There was much moaning and gnashing of teeth in local & municipal govenrments who lobbied against passage by making highly publicized plans to cut back the number of police on the streets and teachers in schools.
    This be-careful-what-you-wish-for approach failed to move the voters back in 1978, but it seems ideally suited for a media biz determined to shuffle off the coil of regulation. They’ve already shown a complete willingness to humiliate themselves in front of Congress. All they need now is to turn out the couch potato vote, and what better way to do it than to interfere with almost everyone’s viewing pleasure as often and as absurdly as they can?

  8. Seth Finkelstein Avatar

    I’m reminded of this scene from the movie “Life Of Brian”:
    MATTHIAS:
    Look. I don’t think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying ‘Jehovah’.
    CROWD
    Oooh! He said it again! Oooh!…
    OFFICIAL:
    You’re only making it worse for yourself!
    MATTHIAS:
    Making it worse?! How could it be worse?! Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
    CROWD:
    Oooooh!…
    OFFICIAL:
    I’m warning you. If you say ‘Jehovah’ once more–
    [MRS. A. stones OFFICIAL]
    Right. Who threw that?

  9. AST Avatar

    I think that too many parents are hypocrites. They use foul language themselves when they don’t think their kids will hear it. That’s probably why kids think it’s “grown-up” to talk like a Hollywood screenwriter.
    I think the world would be much more interesting if people learned to express themselves with some real color and originality instead of the banality of profanity.

  10. Trump Avatar


    “The only point is that we are attacking nothing less than the First Amendment to protect this kid from hearing a word he already certainly knows.

    Well, since kids know about sex, why not have pornography on in Primetime?

  11. Rob Crocker Avatar
    Rob Crocker

    There is a huge difference between the accidental utterring of a curse word, the artistic use of a word, and the mind-numbing repetition “because I’m a rebel” use of the same word.
    Howard Stern has made a fortune by acting like a little child and swearing like a long shore man. He deserves a little closer scrutiny than others.
    Now we can bemoan this and do a bunch of “slippery slope” analysis and even point to how it’s being mishandled in the media right now but that doesn’t address the real issue.
    The point is that modern media has been steadily pushing against the line of “indecency” and now they’re acting all shocked when the line pushes back.
    Let’s all just take a deep breath, relax, and wait a few months for everything to reach equilibrium again before we run around crying “the sky is falling”.
    (And it’s not a Republican conspiracy either. Remember Tipper Gore’s old day job?)

  12. Andy Freeman Avatar
    Andy Freeman

    > The only point is that we are attacking nothing less than the First Amendment to protect this kid from hearing a word he already certainly knows.
    The kid probably also knows the words “God” and “Jesus”. Is Jarvis willing to go to bat for those words and the expression of those ideas, or is he only going to defend the seven dirty words?
    And, we’re still left with the FEC, a federal agency that regulates MY political speech. Not a peep from Jarvis – he’s only interested in media speech.

  13. Andrea Harris Avatar

    If only Stern’s cursing (and the sweary talk of his “guests” or whatever they are) showed the inventiveness and variety of that of the average longshoreman. He may be an intelligent man, but the few times I listened to his show I felt like my brain was being compressed into a small, dense wad. If I were Satan I’d confine him to an eternity as a second-string straight man in a sequel to Friends, called ‘Tards.