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The land of no news

5 comments on The land of no news

The land of no news
: It’s amazing that right now, the top story on the Guardian, the Times of London, the Telegraph, and the Independent is No. 10 apologizing for calling timid suicidal science snitch David Kelly a “Walter Mitty” character, complete with sidebars answering the question, “Who is Walter Mitty?” and comment and transcripts aplenty.

Man, news days don’t get slower than this.

: The Sun, on the other hand, reports on the fired-then-cleared TV hosts 3-in-a-bed kinky sex secrets while the Mirror reports on the secrets of Kylie’s bottom. Secrets uncovered! Now that’s news.

5 responses to “The land of no news”

  1. Jackie D Avatar
    Jackie D

    God bless James Thurber.
    And as much of a fan as I am of Kylie and her bottom, that’s ridiculous. Especially for a paper that recently swore off celebrity puff pieces in exchange for thoughtful political ones. Pfft.

  2. Giles Avatar
    Giles

    I’m spinning around seems to me to be a pretty pertinent line for a thoughtful, political celebrity puff piece.

  3. Jackie D Avatar
    Jackie D

    Heh, good point, Giles. In fact, the lyrics to Spinning Around (http://homepage.ntlworld.com/alan.stuart/music/lyrics/spinning.html) could be the theme song of almost any of the parties in the UK right now. Or the Mirror, for that matter.

  4. Thomas Nephew Avatar
    Thomas Nephew

    I don’t know the details of the David Kelly suicide case; as a Blair admirer, I hope it doesn’t hurt Blair unduly and that it turns out there was more blame on the BBC than on Blair’s folks in this mess.
    That said, people should be aware that David Kelly was not some nincompoop or Walter Mitty. He was one of the central figures in revealing Soviet violations of the Bio Weapons Convention during the 1980s, and in uncovering and analyzing evidence of Saddam’s biological WMD programs during the 90s.
    Read “Plague Wars” by Mangold and Goldberg sometime. Kelly is there over and over and over again, the index lists him on 20 out of 388 pages, and the authors describe him in the photo section as “bete noir of the Russians and the Iraqis, respected and feared by both. One of Britain’s finest Plague Warriors and a world expert dedicated to forcing compliance of the Biological Weapons Convention.” (I happen to be reading it now, or I wouldn’t have known any of this either.)
    He performed a great service throughout his career for all mankind, and deserves to be remembered as a sung hero, warmly and with heartfelt gratitude. I suspect it was the feeling that his reputation and integrity had been tarnished that drove him to his final act.

  5. Giles Avatar
    Giles

    (Alistair Campbell) sings
    I’m spinning around
    Move outta my way
    I know you’re feeling me
    ‘Cos you like it like this
    I’m breaking it down
    I’m not the same
    I know you’re feeling me
    ‘Cos you like it like this”
    Cue Cherie Blair:
    “Traded in some sorrow
    For some joy that I borrowed
    From back in the day
    Threw away my old clothes
    Got myself a better wardrobe”
    Cue IDS
    “I got something to say
    I’m through with the past
    Ain’t no point in looking back
    The future will be
    And did I forget to mention
    That I found a new direction
    And it leads back to me, yeah”
    Cue Gilligan, Gvyn Davis and the BBC
    “I’m spinning around
    Move outta my way
    I know you’re feeling me
    ‘Cos you like it like this
    I’m breaking it down
    I’m not the same
    I know you’re feeling me
    ‘Cos you like it like this”
    Cue Tony B as he wistfuly sings to a select committee:
    “The mistakes I’ve made
    Have given me the strength
    To really believe
    That no matter how I take it
    There’s no way I’m gonna fake it
    ‘Cos it’s gotta be real
    I’ve got nothing left to hide
    No reason left to fight
    ‘Cos the truth’s given me
    A new freedom inside
    Getting rid of my desire
    Do you like what you see”
    and all together now:
    “I’m spinning around
    Move outta my way
    I know you’re feeling me
    ‘Cos you like it like this
    I’m breaking it down
    I’m not the same
    I know you’re feeling me
    ‘Cos you like it like this
    Baby, baby, baby, ooh
    (Ooh) You know you like it like this
    Oh, baby, baby, baby
    You know you like it like this
    Oh, baby, baby, baby”
    I’m pressing the records all ready!