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Happy Mother’s Day, you greedy capitalist, SUV-driving, eco-destroying, child-enslaving, bomb-dropping, heartless bitch, you.

15 comments on Happy Mother’s Day, you greedy capitalist, SUV-driving, eco-destroying, child-enslaving, bomb-dropping, heartless bitch, you.

Happy Mother’s Day, you greedy capitalist, SUV-driving, eco-destroying, child-enslaving, bomb-dropping, heartless bitch, you.

: Is nothing sacred? No, nothing is on Alternet, not even Mother’s Day, which comes under attack as unPC:

Forgive my cynicism about Mother’s Day. After all, what kind of ungrateful mother wouldn’t want to be honored with pesticide-laced flowers, chocolate that depends on children in slavery for its production and cards that deplete our forests and litter Mother Earth? Truly, it is the ultimate insult to honor life-giving with such toxic offerings.

Ferchrissake.

: Meanwhile, Anita Roddick says Mother’s Day is really “a radical feminist statement against war and aggression.”

She advises: “Forget squishy chocolates, flowers, and breakfast in bed…. So honor thy Mother and go march for peace this Sunday.”

Jeesh.

: And over at Islam.com, they try to one-up our infadel, Western, modernist Mother’s Day:

What Islam goes against is to imitate non-Muslims by marking a special occasion such as celebrating the Mother

15 responses to “Happy Mother’s Day, you greedy capitalist, SUV-driving, eco-destroying, child-enslaving, bomb-dropping, heartless bitch, you.”

  1. MommaBear Avatar
    MommaBear

    That’ll be the day that Islam really means it as honor to women!! Har-dee-har-har!

  2. Janis Gore Avatar
    Janis Gore

    In the Smiley Anders column in the Baton Rouge Advocate the other day one mother advised: If you really want to honor your mother on Mother’s Day, please move out.

  3. Mike G Avatar
    Mike G

    We could start by making it against Sharia to stone an unwed mother on Mother’s Day.

  4. Pyecraft Avatar
    Pyecraft

    Another oddity from that region’s citizens.
    As it’s rather unlikely that many of them know the identity of his real father, perhaps its merely natural evolution which explains a recent false interest in venerating Mothers Day.
    As opposed to existing tradition which throughout the year, blinds mothers in burkas and enforces their thorough stick-whipping, administered enthusiastically by its mad male species.
    A small step, a few millenia late, nonetheless its a first sign of reasoned thought and should be encouraged.

  5. Charles Compton Avatar
    Charles Compton

    A “kinder, gentler” sourpuss could merely point out that the floral, candy and greeting card industries take in millions from people observing Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day and the like.
    So what?
    These “holidays,” if nothing else, MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY. And the last time I looked, there was not an over-abundance of happiness in the world.

  6. Matt McIrvin Avatar
    Matt McIrvin

    The happiness one overjoyed American has on Mother’s Day could keep a family of five in Botswana happy for three months! Stop hoarding the world’s happiness, imperialist running-dogs!

  7. Pyecraft Avatar
    Pyecraft

    You’re assuming the Botswana family of five is a teenage one I presume, Matt. Perhaps if the mother limited herself to three kids instead of continuously humping toward a double digit litter, she might create her own hoard.

  8. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    I know the gentleman who blogs as Steppenwolf to be a good hearted individual, however everyone in Iran is under a good deal of stress these days.
    Just as he doesn’t understand everything about our way of life, and may make some incorrect assumptions, we in America cannot understand the cultures of countries we have never lived in. Making crude comments about their cultures serves only to further divide us, when we should be reaching out to mutualy educate each other. The Muslim view of our faults isn’t entirely incorrect. Our view of Islam’s faults isn’t entirely incorrect either. We run into the problem of unresolved arguing when we extend that to the belief (both sides here) that because we have one point right, we are 100% correct. That is an error. Please either make an effort to be part of a constructive solution, or refrain from making comments at all, or as your mother used to put it, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Or in a way that Pyecraft could understand “Shut the fuck up”.

  9. Pyecraft Avatar
    Pyecraft

    Quite so Dave.
    Let’s all be nice and encourage the continuous flow of disparaging barbs toward our hard-earned way of life. We empathize with their stress.
    Your constructive solution for my censorship is understood but regarding my mother, you are not entirely 100% correct.
    Nicely, she put it thus: those who resort to profanity have already lost the thread.
    Dave, quiet now.

  10. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Well if you derive more pleasure from returning the insult than converting someones point of view, go ahead. I prefer to find a middle ground. As you replied to my explitive with disdain, you have proven the point that barbs are most likely to get barbs in return. Give my best to your mother and your father.

  11. Pyecraft Avatar
    Pyecraft

    Woof!

  12. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Pyecraft: Darn, now you’ve gone and made me feel guilty, so I’m coming back to appologize. I shouldn’t have cursed you. I don’t know you other than the few remarks I’ve read on this page. You deserve the bennefit of the doubt, I’m sure you were angred over what Steppenwolf wrote. I would like to explain why remarks like his don’t offend me that much, see, I know I’m not guilty. I’m not a capitalist baby eating dog, or whatever it was that he slung out there today. I was, however guilty of cursing you, so for that, I felt guilt and appologize. I would also like to point out that a remark doesn’t have to contain curses to be profane. Making a comment like “it’s rather unlikely that many of them know the identity of his real father” is as profane as anything I’ve ever heard or said myself. I’m not taking you to task for it, but I wanted you to know what set me off, and I hope you aren’t really that narrow minded. Best regards,
    Dave

  13. Venomous Kate Avatar
    Venomous Kate

    Well, your headline left out martini-swilling and tobacco-smoking… but thanks!

  14. Pyecraft Avatar
    Pyecraft

    Dave;
    No worries, you are in good company here when expressing your middle-ground opinions. Long may you angrily contribute to a healthy discourse.
    My remarks are not in any way tempered by anger at other bloggers, rather, the intent was merely to state the obvious. In this instance, that Botswanans breed more children than they can afford, and Afkans beat their women complusively.
    Profane, yes, but factual nonetheless, neither of which is the fault of my western culture.
    A culture we enjoy thanks to generations of long sacrifice and co-operative construction by its
    ancestors. I prefer to not allow that legacy be defamed by wishy-washy do-gooders and their self- serving support of such third world ingrates who, would turn such gifted advances into instant chaos. As evidenced by the manner in which they swap shipments of free food aid for munitions.
    They remain in the world’s third division because they’re full of third division players. Only education and good coaching can get them promoted.
    Yet, if I can’t be ‘that narrow minded’ then please allow me the comfort of my shallowness.
    For your good wishes, my mother thanks you,
    Pyecraft.

  15. Bill Avatar
    Bill

    I’m a couple days late with this, but…
    I have repeated to my five children what was said at the end of every episode of Captain Kangaroo:
    “Remember, every day is Mother’s Day.”