Wie sagt Man weasel en Francais?

Wie sagt Man weasel en Francais?
: Aaron Bailey sends along this German gem:

A linguists’ group called on Germans to replace commonly used English words with their French equivalents in a protest at the Anglo-American war on Iraq.

Armin Burkhardt, chairman of the working group Language in Politics, said

Monday English words such as “ticket” and “okay” should be replaced by “billet” and “d’accord”.

We, meanwhile, will replace “Kraut” with “weasel,” “Frog” with “weasel,” and “Russkie” with “weasel.”

32 responses to “Wie sagt Man weasel en Francais?”

  1. Pepino Avatar

    hmmm, i think, i don’t really like this kind of humour… :-/

  2. marvin Avatar

    C’mon. It’s not funny. Let’s move on. We have a lot of work to do and we will need the French and German nations to help us. As time passes, we will know if they were right to oppose the military action or whether we were right to say that non-violent means would never work.

  3. stageleft Avatar

    Nothing at all like the “freedom” fries and “freedom” toast things that were so much more intelligent ‘eh? Sheesh !! The world has gone mad.

  4. Richard A. Heddleson Avatar
    Richard A. Heddleson

    Marvin,
    Exactly what kind of help do we nee, expect or want from the French, Germans, or for that matter, the Russians or Turks? These people contributed directly to the deaths of American service men and women. We have done what needed to be done. They need to do something to prove they are worthy of our friendship and respect, for as far as I am concerned, they have neither. The ball is in their court.

  5. Pithpott Avatar
    Pithpott

    Well, one ball is maybe. The other is still stuck firmly atop the net waiting to see if the first drops inside the line. A Turk will remain a Turk in the “new” linguistics.

  6. Oliver Avatar

    Lordy, when will this laaaaaame meme die?

  7. Jeff Jarvis Avatar

    Blame the Germans, Oliver.

  8. vasili Avatar

    c’mon jeff, be serious…
    it’s not “the germans” oder “the americans”. there are some guys on both sides of the world that never left kindergarten. they rename french fries to freedom fries, they boycott coke and american firms, they pour french wine to the streets (for me, that’s o.k., i prefer wines from nz *gg*) and they suggest replacing american words by french words. over here (in germany, that is) there have even been reports on an medical doctor, that refused to treat (?) american or british patients. they have one thing in common – they are completely mad.

  9. Gail Avatar

    I think that the Germans and French underestimate the depth of feeling of the “American Street”, at least the boomers. I’m a young ‘boomer’ of German descent and I remember my in-America family talking about how the US had *saved* Germany and how glad they were that their in-Germany family members were in ‘American’ Berlin. At every gathering my entire life I heard how the US had rebuilt Germany and how grateful we all were. When I first heard that France and Germany were *seriously* blocking us (at first I thought it was just every-day manuevering) I felt like I was punched in the solar plexis. I think every family with WWII dead felt the same. How many Americans lost their “Grandpa” in the war?
    People who think that “Freedom” fries are silly (as I do) need to be aware of what’s behind the sentiment. It’s real and deep and may not disperse easily after the war. As to what’s behind the German reaction – in my opinion it’s guilt. And well deserved. With the French, who knows?

  10. Heiko Hebig Avatar

    Gail and the others,
    I am German and I currently live in Germany.
    During Operation Desert Storm I went to high school in the USA.
    I am probably as biased as anyone else. I just like to throw in some of my perspective.
    Over here in “Old Europe” (sticking to a common scheme for now), many many people across all nations are against this war. With a STRONG emphasis on “this war”. They are not against America. They might disagree with the way the current US government is handling the issue. And hey, I disagree with many things my German government does or proposes. Many many – if not most – Germans are STILL very thankful for the WWII Allies (which, btw, includes Russia) for what they did back then, essentially eliminating the Nazi regime and its friends and supporters.
    The goverments of Germany, France and of all the other nations that oppose THIS current war, are not trying to “block” the USA or the UK. They have nothing against you guys. They “simply” oppose this war and decided to have another opinion. Dissent is an essential part of any democracy.
    Why is “this war” so different? For many reasons, one crucial being (imho) no explicit UN resolution. When Iraq invaded Kuwait, that was a whole different story. WWII was yet a whole different issue.
    I think we all agree that Saddam is a very bad man. I think we all agree that his regime has done harm. But if war is the answer to any problem in this world, it will unlikely become a better place.

  11. Pepino Avatar

    IMHO Heiko is very right with his text!!!

  12. Pithpott Avatar
    Pithpott

    And y’know, all it would have taken to prevent this war would have been for UN nations to show some backbone and act upon agreed resolutions.
    “we all agree Saddam is a very bad man”
    Is a ridiculous response to a homicidal maniac.
    “his regime has done harm”
    Are you serious here? What would you do? Keep writing ever nastier letters asking him to stop?
    Limp-wristed observations such as these are what encouraged Saddam to think the West wouldn’t act against him all along his march to tyranny. Not to mention certain countries who validated his opinion by breaking agreed-upon sanctions. Heiko.
    Old Europeans are perhaps rightly reluctant to revisit war, and new Europeans have proved unfit to defend themselves, but world-class assholes still need to be kicked out of shape by someone.
    Or, would you rather us all comply in pursuit of your “better place”?

  13. Heiko Hebig Avatar

    Pithpott,
    ok, maybe my closing sentences are/were over-simplistic.
    I am well aware of the fact that there are possibily no words to describe the horrific acts of Saddam – replace “bad man” with whatever gruesome term you come up with.
    The central question remains (and yes, that does sound pretty trivial): with what right does one country attack/invade/liberate another nation? who defines what is “right” and what is “wrong”? Is preemptive war legitimate?
    And if preemptive war is legitimate, what nations are next on the list of “bad” countries?
    Saddam was a “homicidal maniac” back in the days when Rumsfeld shook hands with him and the US funded his regime. How come Bush senior did not remove him when he would have had UN backing? What did Bill Clinton stop from removing Saddam? What stops the US from leading a preemptive war against North Korea? Or Cuba?
    As we say in Germany, there are many good reasons for not sticking your finger into wasp nests. And do you think that cultural differences and misunderstandings might *not* lead to a new breed of terrorsists only being inspired and assured by the US actions in Iraq?

  14. ryan Avatar

    Pithpott,
    Ironically, if Iraq had adopted your American-style pre-emptive strike strategy, you would have been attacked long ago.
    Look at the lesson the the U.S. is teaching the rogue states of the world right now: Arm yourself with nuclear weapons like North Korea as soon as possible or we will occupy you to install a government that plays nice with us.
    What people like Pithpott lack the imagination to see is that America has entered a new phase of it’s empire: a never-ending growth of U.S. military presence all over the world.
    Sure, if someone is going to be the ruling empire of the world, I am glad that it’s the Americans, and not he Russians of the Chinese, but come on: don’t think for a second that this war has anything to do at all with the Iraqi people.
    And don’t think that this war will prevent a growth in terrorism.
    And don’t think America’s founders would tolerate what is going on right now.
    And Pithpott, most importantly, don’t expect that if Bush gets the gated-community he’s dreaming of, that you will be invited in.
    ryan

  15. vasili Avatar

    thanks, heiko. that’s been remarkable.

  16. Jim Treacher Avatar

    Wait, I thought all the evil American killer-cowboys were slaughtered?

  17. Jim Treacher Avatar

    Oops, wrong post.

  18. Pithpott Avatar
    Pithpott

    Excellent essays from you both, you eloquently express some valid concerns. Yet neither of you supply your solution to how you would convince Saddam to give up his terror weapons. Your intellect voids you from a positive answer.
    And while you fiddle and fart about in your semantic fog, you allow lunatics like Saddam to grow ever stronger. Saddam isn’t playing by your rules or didn’t you know that?
    Combine his megolamania with an ability to delude and arm the ignorant masses of Islam, and evil crimes such as the Twin Towers will become commonplace throughout the developed world.
    The US for all its faults, has protected Germany since 1945. She is still doing so, whether you like it or not, Heiko. You ungrateful prick.

  19. Gail Avatar

    Heiko,
    The *only* reason we even got the inspectors back in (and the UN pres said it himself) was because of our 250,000 troops on Saddam’s back door. Do you think that we should have maintained that expense for what, 20 years? Til Saddam died? Oh wait, his delightful son might need to be ‘contained’ as well, so that’s more time.
    The UN is doing a great job in Kosovo, the Congo, the Sudan, et. al. ad nauseum (literally).
    Most of all, you should have backed us because at *this very minute* we are killing fanatics from *other* ME countries that would be raising hell in Germany soon. Europe had better wake up fast. Rotterdam is 1/3 muslim. France has muslim violence already on a regular basis. We’re taking care of your future problems right now.

  20. ryan Avatar

    Pithpott:
    Nice CNN-crossfire argument style. You use personal attacks like a drunk uses a lamp-post: for support and not illumination. I know it’s not the style of your current administration, but let’s focus on facts here.
    Here are some things that the free-thinking people of the world have learned:
    1. There is no evidence to suggest that Saddam had anything to do with 9/11. Although 15 of your “friends” from Saudi Arabia did. Osama is laughing as this is what he wanted.
    2. Saddam’s megolomania and ability to delude and arm his ignorant masses is not a threat to the developed world. Apparently that is Bush’s responsibility.
    To quote MIT professor Noam Chomsky: “Since September 2002, the United States is the only country in the world where 60 per cent of the population believes that Iraq is an imminent threat

  21. Heiko Hebig Avatar

    I thought it was clear, but maybe it wasn’t: I don’t agree with the way the German government has handled this whole thing either. That said, I also don’t think this war is the solution.
    Yes, it was good the inspectors got back in. And yes, maybe it was even good that the 250.000 troops were pulled together. That seemed to work – as a threat. Just like the nuclear threat during the cold war. During the cold war though, it was the threat alone that kept people negotiating. Here, the US government decided to use force, no matter what.
    So, in response to Gail [“We’re taking care of your future problems right now”], this is where we disagree. I think this war will create *more* future problems. And yes, that is a fundamental difference. Only time will tell.
    To pithpott: If I am a prick, I am at least a grateful one. I have been very grateful. And as I said above, I share this feeling with many people over here. But does being grateful require me to agree with every elected official and any opinion, be it the majority or minority opinion?
    > neither of you supply your solution
    Tactics of further increased inspections in combination with sanctions and an omnipresent military threat would have worked. But since the war has already started I can no longer propose this alternate solution.
    I can only hope that the war will be over soon.

  22. ryan Avatar

    Gail: 9/11 was a sucker-punch to America by an extremist group of fundamentalist Muslim psychos no one sided with.
    But America is retaliating with an old-fashioned bar brawl against the entire Muslim world, and it will affect all of us.
    Maybe Michael Moore is right: Americans just prefer solve problems with violence. Just whip out the guns, the electric chairs, the missiles, etc.
    Sure all violence makes for good TV, but should that matter?
    I think it’s better to live life admidst peace, tolerating others, than to live amidst war, thinking you are right.
    Or more simply: Live by the sword, die by the sword.

  23. Pithpott Avatar
    Pithpott

    Ok, final post here.
    Ryan, you are still waffling, again with no clue how you would have disarmed Saddam.
    Heiko, your solution to the above is quite obviously the correct way to have gone about this disarming business. But it couldn’t work and that’s a pity, because yours and other g/vments were clearly undermining the sanctions by continuously trading under the table.
    The inspectors were hopelessly out-manoevered by Saddam, and keeping an army on the doorstep was no deterrent to a man who held blackmail cards on some Security Council members. He knew they would never allow its use and the threat had no teeth.
    The use of present force serves also as a warning to other potential maniacs, of our willingness to act. But, on the plus side, under the present difficult circumstances, we are killing them off as humanely as possible.

  24. ryan Avatar

    Pithpott: Sorry to see you have about given up. Wouldn’t want the truth to get in the way of a fast-food dinner in your SUV.
    Here is the solution, although seeing as you have been fooled into thinking that Saddam poses an immediate threat America, you won’t go for it.
    Solution: Revolution from within.
    The sanctions imposed on Iraq have only weakened the Iraqi people, not Saddam, and have prevented them from over-throwing Saddam. Saddam is not a bully to other countrie’s like America, so it might work. I mean, look at Afghanistan. Bush doesn’t give a shit about democracy there.
    Even one of Saddam’s enemies, an ex-general’s and Iraqi defectors agrees.
    Don’t like to read? Watch this televised discussion.

  25. ryan Avatar

    I should add that it’s too late for my solution. Bush’s “Shoot first and ask questions later” approach has probably fucked us all.
    Imagine a suicide-bomber with the button.
    Of course, Rumsfeld is happy with everything short of that.
    I remember seeing Henry Kissinger on Charlie Rose a few months before 9/11. He said that America could remain the world’s greatest super-power, if it didn’t over-extend itself to protect its interests. That’s how all empires begin their fall.
    All I hope for is that Bush isn’t re-elected, and that all the neoCONs are banished from Washington permanently, and that whomever’s next (Nader, please?) understands the universal truth: Only idiots want to start fights. The rest of the world wants to live in peace.

  26. Pithpott Avatar
    Pithpott

    Ryan,
    I have followed the relevant TV debates of which you speak, and conclude that perhaps Tariq Ali (?)has the most eloquent delivery of your viewpoint.
    Your solution is a noble one, and one which would work except that the “idiots” now have greater destructive capability and hence a longer reach than in the past. It used to be said that the old British Empire could easily put dowm native uprisings by anchoring a gunship off their coast.
    Threat once upon a time was enough.
    Revolution from within is another old idea, which no longer works. The dangers are too immediate, we do not have another 75 years to wait for a different communism to crumble from its core.
    This war, although I cannot attribute the following observation to any source but my own opinion, has been brewing since the first oil crisis of 1973. The American hostages held in Tehran in 1979 only fueled the fire some and, whether you believe it or not, the failure to continue into Baghdad in 1991 caused the perception of America’s unwillingness to fight, leading eventually to the Twin Tower atrocity, which finally brought this collision home.
    There are simply no democracies in the Arab countries, whose people are kept in ignorance for the sole purpose of their leaders’ continued control. When you see volunteers from outside Iraq willing to kill themselves for an ungodly madman like Saddam, under the grand delusion that “God is Great”, you must realize, albeit reluctantly, that it is better to fight the inevitable clash in the remote deserts of their homelands rather than the civilized world’s cities.
    Watching these suicide bombers attack tanks with old rifles remind me of another war the American cavalry fought in the 19th century. The plains Indians also thought their gods would protect them against superior firepower.
    Your average, everyday people of the region seem to me to be purposely misguided by trouble-making mullahs, who conspire with the illegitimate governors of the day, to retain power. They have a grevience to be sure, not against the US but against their own leaders who seek to prevent their pursuit of modern education and democracy.
    We have to live in the reality of our new world, where even today, here a muslim leader at a national press conference called for his flock to start a Jihad against the US from Canada.
    I believe, for what its worth, that Bush and Blair had no choice and were badgered into meeting this fundamental conflict head on by their respective military strategists. But not for expansionist reasons, simply that they dare not wait for further strikes like Sep 11th. I can think of no other reason why jointly, they would commit the political suicide that they most assuredly have.
    We all choose to believe what we wish I suppose, but the biggest loser, while we all pray to some fictitious icon, is the intellect of humanity itself.
    We once had much loftier aspirations than creating a $20million missile.

  27. vasili Avatar

    ryan, you made my day. thanks a lot.

  28. ryan Avatar

    Pithpott writes: “simply that they dare not wait for further strikes like Sep 11th”????
    Ramachandran: You have written that this war of aggression has dangerous consequences with respect to international terrorism and the threat of nuclear war.
    Chomsky: I cannot claim any originality for that opinion. I am just quoting the CIA and other intelligence agencies and virtually every specialist in international affairs and terrorism. Foreign Affairs, Foreign Policy , the study by the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, and the high-level Hart-Rudman Commission on terrorist threats to the United States all agree that it is likely to increase terrorism and the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction.
    Read the full interview. It’s brilliant.

  29. ryan Avatar

    Pithpott: Your grammar, sense of history and e-mail address seem Canadian. Let’s hope the e-mail address isn’t the internet equivalent of the maple leaf backpack patch.
    I find your references to “indian” history fitting as there is definitely a racist element to this war on Islam. It is the beginning of a genocide.
    I cannot recommend strongly enough that you read this article all the way through (heck, print it out).
    Again, regarding democracy, I will point to America’s rich history of supporting non-democratic states, ruthless dictators, and let’s not forget the fiasco that was the 2000 election. The two-party stranglehold in America sure makes their democracy look like a joke.
    This great satire from The Onion sure sums it up well…

    And I certainly will not point out our rapid loss of interest in the establishment of democracy in Afghanistan once our fighting in that country was over. We sure got out of that place in a hurry once it became clear that the problems were too complex to solve with cruise missiles.

    Sure, it will begin as a clash in the desert, but will lead to the cities everywhere, and eventually protestors like myself will be rounded up in the interests of national security: When the nation is controlled by business, national security means something different.
    As for the jihad, what option do they have? A genocide has begun, and the U.S. does not negotiate.
    And everyone knows why Blair got into this mess. But he failed, as the U.S. listens to no one.
    God, pithpott, what is your excuse? I mean, shaw cable can’t even brainwash you with Fox News because they don’t carry it!

  30. Pithpott Avatar
    Pithpott

    Attacking my grammar still isn’t a solution to how you would disarm Saddam. You very obviously have no idea how that should be done, do you?
    “Ramachandran :Noam, you have seen movements of resistance to imperialism over a long period – Vietnam, Central America, Gulf War I. What are your impressions of the character, sweep and depth of the present resistance to U.S. aggression? We take great heart in the extraordinary mobilisations all over the world.
    Chomsky : Oh, that is correct; there is just nothing like it. Opposition throughout the world is enormous and unprecedented, and the same is true of the United States”.
    What is this, one of those filler, paid-for ad programs? They’re asking and answering their own questions, back-slapping each other like a Van Imp gospel news show. Their vague references to obscure polls are unworthy of comment.
    Do yerself a favour lad, get your head out of that “Conspiracy for Dummies” book, before you end up wearing a burka, getting bitch-slapped on the hour, every hour by the secret police.

  31. ryan Avatar

    Pithpott: Your grammar is fine! Better than mine! Saying your grammar is canadian, and not american, is still a compliment, is it not? :)
    Regarding disarming Saddam: If the U.S. with all their satellite imagery, cannot find any WMD, nor can the U.N., nor can the ground troops, we are on a witch hunt! If Saddam had weapons he would have used them against Israel by now, or the ground troops.
    And besides that, why is it okay for the US to have weapons, but no one else?
    And conspiracy? Come on! Do you really think the U.S. acts in anything but their own interests? And are those interests really of its citizens, or of it’s ex-oil executive leaders?
    The only threat to my safety is the aggressors, and it’s pretty clear that Saddam is not the aggressor.
    We can live in peace. I live in a city where more than 1/2 the people are not even born in this country and it is peaceful. Imagine.

  32. Pithpott Avatar
    Pithpott

    Well, ok. We may have to plant some of our own chemical weapons. Purely in the Iraqis interests of course.