Posts from April 13, 2005

American women have no nipples (before 10 p.m.)

American women have no nipples (before 10 p.m.)

: Pamela Anderson, appearing on Howard Stern this morning to plug her new Fox show Stacked, said that the network censors have come on the set and ordered that her nippled be “taped down” because you can’t have nipples before 10 p.m.

This shows the absurd lengths to which regulatory puritanism has gone: Now American women can’t have nipples, at least not before the “safe harbor,” when, apparently, nipples are suddenly, magically allowed to pop out again.

I say that the NOW should be storming the FCC with protest over this: Because of the chill (which, yes, ironically, would have the undesired effect on nipples) they have imposed, we are now at the point where a woman’s clothed anatomy is deemed to be injurious to children. That’s childish itself; it’s absurd; it’s sexist; it’s more offensive than any nipple, even Janet Jackson’s.

Free the nipples!