Dumbest anchor alive
: When I was a TV critic, I always wanted to write a column about Dan Rather, Dumbest Anchor Alive. I never got around to it because I’m lazy and I would have had to watch hours of Rather to compile my case. But Tony Pierce has done us the public service of quoting Ratherisms from election night alone. I think he thinks he’s going to be gone soon, so he got in as many as he could. A sampling:
“His lead is as thin as turnip soup.”
“This race is humming along like Ray Charles.”
“The presidential race is swinging like Count Basie.”
“This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex.”
“Ohio becomes like a sauna for the two candidates. All they can do is wait and sweat.”
“One’s reminded of that old saying, ‘Don’t taunt the alligator until after you’ve crossed the creek.'”
“Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field.”
“In southern states they beat him like a rented mule.”
“If you try to read the tea leaves before the cup is done you can get yourself burned.”
“We need Billy Crystal to Analyze This”
“You know that old song, ‘it’s delightful, it’s delicious, it’s de-lovely’ for President Bush in most areas of the country.”
