Posts from August 17, 2004

It’s not sex. It’s a Mossad plot. Well, of course.

It’s not sex. It’s a Mossad plot. Well, of course.

: A certain well-known columnist joked in email to me the other day that he was convinced Jim McGreevey’s alleged misteress Golan Cipel was actually an Israeli Mossad agent. I chortled and told the famous columnist that if only he had a blog, I’d be linking to him. Of course, I’d add: Heh!

Well, Aljazeera is on the case and they say it was, yup, a Mossad secret plot: Well, naturally. Everything is Israel’s fault, isn’t it?

And here Foreign Policy/Intelligence Columnist Andy Martin uncovers some secrets to this regards, and asserts that McGreevey sex scandal was an Israeli Intelligence operation.

“People have been confused by the McGreevey sex scandal,” says Martin. “But McGreevey’s dilemma is not a gay sex scandal. It is an Israeli intelligence operation gone sour. This is not a scandal about ‘sex.’ It is a scandal about ‘secrets’, Martin says.

“McGreevey said he had sex. He did. Golan Cipel says he is not gay. He’s not. They are both right. Mr. Cipel was a junior Mossad case officer, originally posted to New York under official cover. The Mossad is well known for using human sex toys. McGreevey was lured into a relationship that was intended to penetrate New Jersey’s homeland defenses.

“Since 9/11 there has been barely suppressed anger at the fact Israeli intelligence knew about the hijackers and said nothing. Israelis have found themselves under suspicion and restricted by some intelligence channels. The state homeland security position was seen as a back door way of spying on anti-terror preparations in the New York-New Jersey area, and possibly nationally.

This supposed expert works for a site we’ve never heard of. But that, of course, doesn’t bother Aljazeera.

This is a new one on me: We’d heard that Jews were warned to leave the towers (just blood libel, of course) and now we’re told they knew and didn’t tell. And so this story insists that they happened to find a neighboring in-the-closet gay gov and seduced him to get valuable Jersey intelligence. Clever, those Jews.

: The Israeli connection gets weirder in a Haaretz story. First, they libel Jersey:

Long before Tony Soprano, New Jersey had a bad name, the seemingly negative mirror image of glittering cross-river New York City. It was the place from where Frank Sinatra launched his success, never to return again. Even though it does not lack wealthy suburbs and elegant estates, in the popular imagination New Jersey symbolizes corruption and sleaze. “North Louisiana,” gloated the Wall Street Journal, which hopes to see the Democrats – who claim to struggle for the oppressed and against the fat cats – involved in scandals no less than the Republicans.

Believe me, this is no Louisiana.

And then Haaretz goes off on its own theory regarding the Israeli connection:

Maybe there are some who scoff at the idea of a war between New Jersey and Israel – which is often described as being “about the size of New Jersey” to give Americans an indication of Israel’s size – but there should be no scoffing at how deep the feverish charges of dual loyalty of Israel and Jews can go. Nobody would say that the Greek background of former CIA director George Tenet made him tilt toward the land of his forefathers, neither against Washington nor in the old quarrel between Athens and Ankara. Nobody would suspect the Portuguese backgrounds of Terese Heinz Kerry or Dina Matos McGrevey had them plotting on behalf of Lisbon….

The difference, in one word, is Pollard, and in three words, “I deserve it.” Nearly 19 years after Jonathan Pollard was arrested – a Jew, and in intelligence, and in the navy, and for pay – he continues to symbolize Israeli arrogance. Everyone spies, French on America and vice versa, but only Israel, when it is caught, behaves as if America is the one that should be ashamed because it did not give Israel what Israel deserved to have and forced it to steal….

New Jersey will survive. Jim and Golan might even patch up their relationship. Israel will continue to carry the millstone of double loyalty. When he came out of the closet, McGrevey chose to declare “I am a gay American,” meaning, “I cheated on my wife, the institution of family, myself – but not my country.”

: Meanwhile, the Village Voice sees a Republican conspiracy, of course. Michael Musto clicks:

I’m not buying into theories that the guy (who’s straight, by the way) must be some kind of soign

What a nice beard

What a nice beard

: John Shabe, blogger, shows us alleged NJ gubernatorial himstress Golan Cipel’s alleged girlfriend, “who just happens to be a blonde in a tank top and low-rise jeans who isn’t shy about showing off her large sunglasses.” Go see for yourself

If you read just one blog post this year….

If you read just one blog post this year….

: Go read this post by Ken (We’re Glad He’s Back) Layne, who in a drunken stupor of brilliant imagination, tells Blair (who sounds like an imaginary friend, a gigantic invisible kangaroo, perhaps — but isn’t) how the Bushies are getting Kerry elected thanks to Vietnam:

“Look at you people with this Vietnam boat nonsense. Every day, you’re pounding home the fact that Kerry fought in Vietnam. You idiots started this stuff so early — with the “Oh he protested the war” and the Jane Fonda photoshops — that the Kerry people turned the whole Democratic convention into celebration of the Vietnam War. Nobody even remembers being against Vietnam anymore. The next Vietnam movie will be a buddy comedy starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, and all they’re going to do is kill Charlie and win medals and dance with beautiful girls. It’ll make $300 million on the opening weekend. They’re going to tear down that bummer memorial in Washington and put up a 1,000-foot statue of a smiling American soldier proudly standing on a stack of golden skulls. You morons have made Vietnam the Democrats’ favorite memory and greatest victory. Then you scream hooray when a gang of addled old Nixon bagmen show up in a teevee commercial to bitch about Kerry fighting in Vietnam, and once again the normal people with lives only remember, again, that Kerry fought in Vietnam and the Bush campaign is upset about it.”

“But,” Tim sputtered, “He clearly claimed he was in Cambodia several days before he was in Cambodia. It was seared–”

“Stop that,” I said, poking his neck with the corkscrew worm. “Listen to yourself. What are you doing, again? That’s right, you’re reminding people that the other guy fought in Vietnam. Have you become so brain dead that you think this helps your girly boy Bush? Do you honestly believe the coward boy can beat the War Monster?”

And that’s just the beginning; the rest is brilliant. Go read the rest now. That’s a friggin’ order, soldier! Now!

And W will do anything to get an Instalanche

And W will do anything to get an Instalanche

: Dan Froomkin reports in the Washington Post that the White House site is going to get bloggier.

And in the role of President…

And in the role of President…

: Jon Margolis (a long-ago colleague) writes in today’s Times that movies — and radio and the internet — won’t swing the election:

With talk radio, the 24-hour cable news networks, the Internet and blogging, technology and popular culture have all been offered up as vehicles for revolutionizing presidential politics. This election cycle, the Internet was a useful fund-raising and organizing tool for Howard Dean. Useful but insufficient; even a good tool cannot rescue a poor candidate. Talk radio and cable news are not inconsequential; if nothing else, they help explain the overall decline in the quality of American journalism. But they have not elected anyone.

Neither will “Fahrenheit 9/11″….

Campaigns are won or lost depending on what is happening in the world and how effectively the candidates campaign. Popular culture is just a postmodern term for entertainment, which is a lot more fun than politics, but totally different.

Right. We’re smarter than that. We can tell a comedy act — whether Moore or Coulter — from a candidate, even if the comics think they’re serious and the candidates don’t know they’re comical.