The Paris Hilton speaks

The Paris Hilton speaks
: I watched the beginning of SNL Saturday night — to see a very impressive Al Sharpton James Brown shtick — but missed seeing Paris Hilton on Weekend Update:

Hilton, who cancelled all interviews to promote her new reality show “The Simple Life” after a video of her having sex emerged, made her first public appearance on “SNL” and gave an “exclusive interview” on the show’s “Weekend Update” segment.

Hilton’s double entendre-filled “interview” with “Weekend Update’s” Jimmy Fallon follows:

FALLON: As we agreed we won’t be discussing the scandal that’s been in the papers these last couple of weeks.

HILTON: Thank you Jimmy, I appreciate that.

FALLON: We just want to find out about you, Paris Hilton. So, your family, the Hiltons, own hotels all over the world.

HILTON: Yes, they’re in New York, London, Paris…

FALLON: So there’s actually a Paris Hilton?

HILTON: Yes, there is.

FALLON: Is it hard to get into the Paris Hilton?

HILTON: Actually, it’s a very exclusive hotel…no matter what you’ve heard.

FALLON: I hear the Paris Hilton is very beautiful.

HILTON: I’m glad you heard that.

FALLON: Do they allow double occupancy at the Paris Hilton?


FALLON: Is it roomy?

HILTON: It might be for you, but most people find it very comfortable.

FALLON: I’m a V.I.P.. I may need to go in the back entrance.

HILTON: It doesn’t matter who you are, it’s not gonna happen.

FALLON: Fair enough. Now, I throw a lot of events, do they have a ballroom there?

HILTON: We do.

FALLON: Great. I’d love to have my balls held by the Paris Hilton. I’d like to check into the Paris Hilton.

HILTON: I don’t think you can.

FALLON: Really? Because I’ll only be able to stay there like a minute and a half. Two minutes tops.

HILTON: Good luck.

[via Lost Remote]