Boycott idiots

Boycott idiots
: One of my company’s webloggers, RJ White, found a document that’s awe-inspiring in its stupidity on the AdBuster’s web site: Readers’ suggestions about how to “Boycott Brand America.” (My notes in italics):

: Now that I’m in China, I ride my bike (second hand) or walk everywhere. I don’t buy things unless I really need them (I don’t have a microwave). I live in a $100 a month apartment (even though I could afford better). I eat fresh and delicious food (I have lost over 50kgs of excess weight). And I don’t watch TV (it’s in Chinese) or read the newspaper (ignorant bliss is heaven).

So you’ve become a poor, ignorant, Communist peasant. That’s progress.

: I initiated a boycott of travel to the US last year and will continue this, along with my ongoing boycott of Starbucks…

Take that, poor South American coffee growers!

: I’m going to get a job at a Starbucks in a small town, where the majority is Republican and pro-war, and where I will suggest, generate and voice opinions of opposition to not only the people who work there, but the customers as well.

I’ll take a vente and a vent, please.

: We’re trying to shut down Ithaca, NY’s restaurant community for one night.

Saddam is grateful. The poor immigrant dishwasher is not.

: I think that I have a plan. Simply drive slowly.

Yes, and you’ll irritate the crap out of every American behind you. Why don’t you add a “Honk If You’re An American Warmonger” bumpersticker; I’ll bet you’ll smoke out lots of them.

: A friend and I sewed monopoly dollars into dresses and sat in the mall with a set of bullhorns and told people about the evils of their consumerism. One middle-aged couple got mad at us and threw their greasy McDonald’s lunches at us.

And who says fast food isn’t good for us?

: Boycott American spelling and slang.

Yes, we make royalties everytime somebody says “dude.”

: A very obvious way to hit part of the US economy is boycotting the movies.

You mean the French have to give up Jerry Lewis?

  • jrosevear

    I doubt he’ll smoke out too many warmongers in Ithaca, which has got to be on any top ten list of “leftiest places in America”…

  • I live just up the road, in Dryden.
    Ithaca is the Berkeley on Cayuga Lake. It’s actually comical.

  • Boycott the movies :) The irony is overwhelming.

  • Reader #1 lost 50 KILOGRAMS? (110 lbs, to us Yanks). Good grief!
    Well, chalk that up to one more good outcome of the war. . .

  • Poot Rootbeer, A&S ’99

    Ithaca is a Socialist town if ever there was one — any wonder Cornell’s sports teams are called “The Big RED”…?
    The activists may succeed in getting Moosewood and the ABC Cafe to shut down for a night, but that just means more dinner dollars will go to Taco Bell and McDonald’s that night. TAKE THAT, AMERICAN CAPITALISM!

  • John

    You know, they just opened a new Starbucks in Bush’s hometown of Midland, Tex. a couple of months ago. I’m sure he’d have a wonderful time working at that franchise location and chatting up the locals — and just so he wouldn’t have to feel too isolated from like-minded thinkers while working out in the hinderland, they even sell the New York Times inside.

  • Wow. Most of those are silly. Okay, dumb. But there are a few good ones, too:
    I am a graduate student in library science. My contribution will be to fight against the dumbing down of America. Too many people believe whatever they hear, without thinking about the numbers that don’t add up or the obvious lack of logic. Whenever I can I promote skepticism toward the news media, advertising, and political rhetoric, and try to encourage others to think for themselves. Only when we remember how to use our own brains and our own willpower rather than being passive consumers of mindless “infotainment” will we free ourselves from corporate enslavement.

  • Rory

    Oh, right! Like a grad in lib science is even going to get a job. Library Science is all about managing data. He’s not going to be handing out books to us poor yokels. Wait until he’s trying to pay back his college loans on what librarians make–he’ll wish he’d thougtht twice about that degree.

  • Ron

    Why does someone have to move to China just so he won’t eat at McDonalds? Talk about lack of willpower. This guy is nuts.