Storm punch(lines)

Oh, to be Jon Stewart today. The moments of unselfconscioius self-parody on the news channels keep flying by faster than a garbage-can lid in a hurricane. Well, in fact, we’re getting live reports of just such lids flying by on FoxNews and on CNN, Anderson Cooper reports on a single barge in the Mississippi. They all can do little more than report on what they happen to see where they happen to be. On CNN this morning, they cut to a guy so he could use his little wind-meter (quite the gadget in this storm) and he couldn’t it working and then said things were actually pretty calm, as he demonstrated when his meter got up to only 4 mph. My favorite is that CNN has dubbed a satellite truck Hurricane One. I do hope they have more than one person in it, so we can get Team Coverage from Hurricane One.

: Please do add in the moments of news self-parody you see today in the comments.

: LATER: So much for Hurricane One.

  • http://MaryCalvo marym

    Category: Gotta love it.

    A reporter in the Superdome in apocryphal tones: “It’s getting pretty uncomfortable here.”

    Woe unto ye, power gluttons.

  • Angelos

    The news – scary

    The news people – hilarious

    One of these days, one of these idiots will die. Maybe a 50mph 2×4 to the head. Live. That will be the end of it, I hope.

  • Angelos

    One of the studio anchors just took the time to explain the Pythagorean Theorem, which was nice…

  • Joost Schuur

    One of CNN’s trucks – maybe Hurricane One – was apparently was totalled as it was hit by a fence when they were pulled over.

    Time to bust out Hurricane Two.

  • texaskatey

    yeppers — Hurricane One got totalled in the storm. Gotta love it when reality parodies the news, huh?

    katey

  • Evil Pollyanna

    Funny to watch wall-to-wall Hurricane Katrina coverage on TV.
    They couldn’t be bothered to provide any on-site reporting, when it came to a weird “accidental” explosion & fire at a BP Refinery in Texas, which led to 1000’s being evacuated & many deaths.
    Even weirder, when another “accidental” explosion & fire happened at the SAME BP Refinery in Texas, the story rated only a 5-second mention, then was banished to the “land of lost fog facts”, the real news stories that crawl along the bottom of your TV Screen. Brave New World, here we come.

    but “accidental” explosions & fires, at the same BP Refinery in Texas!

    including evacuations of 1,000’s of people & several deaths, at the same BP Refinery in Texas! Not even one Cable TV News station could bother to show up. They were too busy covering the soap opera flavor of the month!

  • Angelos

    Fox news:

    SHEPARD SMITH: You’re live on FOX News Channel, what are you doing?

    MAN: Walking my dogs.

    SMITH: Why are you still here? I’m just curious.

    MAN: None of your fucking business.

    SMITH: Oh that was a good answer, wasn’t it? That was live on international television. Thanks so much for that. You know we apologize.

    [snip]

    SMITH: “I’m watching two dogs drink out of a glass of ice water, and it’s none of my business why they are still here.”

  • owl 1

    Angelos that was a high point. Did not realize you watched FOX so closely either.

    I liked the FOX clip (not sure if MS or AL…..ask Angleos) where the guy was doing his segment and they would show another guy in a yellow slicker, slide down and twist. They repeated it about 6 times.

    Lots of fun stuff but if you know New Orleans, you realize Shep Smith was standing in one of the most dangerous places on earth at that point.

  • Mumblix Grumph

    FOX NEWS WEATHER BABE: The situation in New Orleans has the potential to be horrific.
    GERALDO RIVERA: Would you say it could be hell?
    FNWB: Uh, yes, I guess so.
    GR So we have hell and high water.
    FNWB: Oh, yes…ha ha.

    Ass.

  • Angelos

    That was just a very lucky moment for me.

    I had CNN on, then a little ESPN, more CNN, tried MSNBC, then a little Fox, and a few minutes later that happened. I was too stunned to even laugh for a couple seconds, but that was great.

    It wasn’t on my DVR machine, just a regular old TV, so I didn’t have all the text until Wonkette posted it.

    That was a top 5 TV moment of the year, that’s for sure.

  • http://brandongerena.com Brandon G.

    Wait a minute… you mean the reporters actually go to the scene of the incident? I would much rather the safety of a studio green screen. Lil ‘ol Samantha Bee wouldn’t stand a chance with the strength of those wind gusts…

  • owl 1

    Well…..today nothing looks funny. When I posted above, I didn’t have a clue, and I was watching. So sorry for them all.

  • Doc

    Where’s Waldo?

    I haven’t seen the toothy grin of Geraldo Rivera for days. I really miss his self-centered comments. Maybe he’s investigating another gangster vault…