If you read just one blog post this year….
: Go read this post by Ken (We’re Glad He’s Back) Layne, who in a drunken stupor of brilliant imagination, tells Blair (who sounds like an imaginary friend, a gigantic invisible kangaroo, perhaps — but isn’t) how the Bushies are getting Kerry elected thanks to Vietnam:
“Look at you people with this Vietnam boat nonsense. Every day, you’re pounding home the fact that Kerry fought in Vietnam. You idiots started this stuff so early — with the “Oh he protested the war” and the Jane Fonda photoshops — that the Kerry people turned the whole Democratic convention into celebration of the Vietnam War. Nobody even remembers being against Vietnam anymore. The next Vietnam movie will be a buddy comedy starring Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt, and all they’re going to do is kill Charlie and win medals and dance with beautiful girls. It’ll make $300 million on the opening weekend. They’re going to tear down that bummer memorial in Washington and put up a 1,000-foot statue of a smiling American soldier proudly standing on a stack of golden skulls. You morons have made Vietnam the Democrats’ favorite memory and greatest victory. Then you scream hooray when a gang of addled old Nixon bagmen show up in a teevee commercial to bitch about Kerry fighting in Vietnam, and once again the normal people with lives only remember, again, that Kerry fought in Vietnam and the Bush campaign is upset about it.”
“But,” Tim sputtered, “He clearly claimed he was in Cambodia several days before he was in Cambodia. It was seared–”
“Stop that,” I said, poking his neck with the corkscrew worm. “Listen to yourself. What are you doing, again? That’s right, you’re reminding people that the other guy fought in Vietnam. Have you become so brain dead that you think this helps your girly boy Bush? Do you honestly believe the coward boy can beat the War Monster?”
And that’s just the beginning; the rest is brilliant. Go read the rest now. That’s a friggin’ order, soldier! Now!